July 16, 2015 by trs

The Foreign Service and the Single Parent

In May while I was on leave an organizer of the new Associates of the American Foreign Service Worldwide (AAFSW) book on “Raising Kids in the Foreign Service” contacted me to ask if I would be open to writing a chapter / essay from the single parent perspective. I was thrilled to be selected though in truth, the organizer admitted, I was the only single parent in the FS she knew. No matter, I was excited about the prospect of writing such an article; in January I had, with another FS single mom, just launched a Facebook page for single parents in the FS and this was another opportunity to get the word out that there are single parent diplomats. With the organizer’s blessing I am sharing most of my article here. It was written in conjunction with feedback from members of our new Facebook group.

She stared at the email. It was in response to a housing issue at her upcoming post. Did it really say what she thought it said? “We are sorry about this but there is no way we could have anticipated this. We have never had this kind of situation.”

Situation? The Single Parent situation? You would have thought she had asked how to import a unicorn. That’s us, the single parents, the unicorns of the Foreign Service.

I am not going to lie: being a single parent in the Foreign Service is no cake walk. But that is not news, right? Because just being in the Foreign Service is a challenge and so is being a single parent. Put them together and you have yourself a recipe for some demanding but exciting times.

The Challenges

The PCS. We hear the laments of our single Foreign Service Officer brethren; it sure is hard to manage a pack out all by yourself. Then throw in a wee one or two and, if you have truly lost your mind, a pet. Nothing says fun like managing your suitcases, carry-ons, a stroller, a child, and a pet on a two leg 24-hour international journey all by yourself. It is extra fun when, as one single parent recently shared with me, your elementary-school aged child breaks his arm ten days before. Because as they grow older you kinda expect them to pitch in, right?

Setting up child care/school. We hear you tandem parents. Needing to take off work immediately after arriving at post in order to interview and hire a nanny or register your child for school might call for some of those diplomatic skills. After all, post wanted you yesterday. This is especially the case of the single parent, because, well, the person taking off work is you or you. Most places seem to frown upon children registering themselves.

And it doesn’t just stop with enrolling them in school. There are teacher-parent meetings, special events, times when you need to head in to the school and again it is you, the single parent, that needs to take the time to take care of it. And you hope that your supervisor and colleagues understand. We face many of the same challenges that single/working parents in the US face, with the additional challenge of being far from familial and other support systems.

The “helpful” colleague/supervisor. It is super awesome when co-workers or supervisors decide that you really can have it all and that of course you would love some more time away from the kids. After all you joined the Foreign Service! For instance your post has some opportunities for some 2-4 week TDYs. You are interested but cannot realistically work out the child care (you would after all have to buy the plane ticket for your child and the nanny). That is ok, says your colleague, just leave your child behind with the nanny. Problem solved! Except your child is under five.

Or when facing the very real possibility of a post evacuation (that did not in the end materialize) your supervisor suggests you ship your children to someone so that you can concentrate on your job. Or the opposite is the overly accommodating supervisor who, as one single parent mentioned, bend so far over backwards to be understanding that you miss opportunities, like TDY assignments.

Stereotypes. Single parents are divorced. Single parents have contentious relationships with the other parent. Single parents are female. Single parents are unlikely to be in the Foreign Service. And these categorizations extend to our children – our kids have discipline problems and trouble adjusting. It is all over the Internet, so it must be true!

I do not often think on these stereotypes, after all, I have never been married, have a good relationship with my daughter’s father, and we are, in general, rocking the FS life. We come to be single parents in so many ways, sometimes through divorce or separation, sometimes due to the death of a spouse, sometimes by choice, by natural birth or adoption. So when these stereotypes come to the fore it can be surprising and upsetting. We may face uncomfortable questions. We sometimes feel excluded – we are not the singles without kids, we are not the married without kids, we are not the married with kids. And worst of all, our children might be teased or bullied.

The Benefits

Affordable help. This is HUGE. Granted it is not as inexpensive as one may think (as one particularly unenlightened defense colleague said to me before heading to Indonesia – “you can hire a maid for like one cent a day!” No buddy, you cannot). I paid US$800/month in Mexico and US$900/month in China, not including overtime or bonuses, for a live-out nanny. Even when the children no longer need a nanny, our ability to afford household help in many (but not all) posts overseas gives us more time to spend with our children. As one single parent told me, “When you are home, you aren’t just washing and cooking and cleaning – you can pay attention to the kids!”

Community Support. Most of us have found support in our Embassy/Consulate communities around the world, both amongst our colleagues and local staff, as well as other expats and host nation friends. “[My] biggest surprise was how supportive my little communities are (other friends – male and female, and parents – moms and dads – single and otherwise) to help me fill in the gaps.”

At this very moment, as I am trying to piecemeal the final draft of this essay, I am serving as duty officer and the duty phone has been ringing off the hook. A colleague contacted me and asked if she could take my daughter for a few hours to give me some time to handle the duty calls. She even brought me food! We all are grateful to such colleagues who understand the demands of the FS and are willing to lend a hand when we need it.

Teachable Moments. Although approximately thirty percent of US children grow up in single parent households, single parent families are underrepresented in the FS. Like any member of the Foreign Service, we are the face of the US while serving overseas. We may not always want to be the representative of a group, and this may seem an odd thing to consider a benefit, but this is an opportunity to show people in our host country, and sometimes even our colleagues, that single parents are more than stereotypes.

When in the Basic Consular Course at FSI we study about citizenship. In general an unmarried citizen mother with a non-citizen father has fewer requirements to transmit citizenship. During my course, the instructor made a joke about unmarried mothers and their offspring using a word that starts with “b” and rhymes with “mastered.” At the time my daughter was five months old and it had not yet occurred to me this word would ever be used to describe her. I did not know how I felt about it. So afterwards I approached the instructor and let him know I was a single mother and he may want to consider his audience. The instructor immediately apologized, said the context had not occurred to him, and that from thereon forward he would not use that joke.

Other Benefits. Many single parents reported to me that the material and cultural benefits are a major advantage, and a reason why they stay in for the long haul. The free housing and generous educational allowances that allow our children to attend some pretty amazing international and/or boarding schools are significant. Add in the month-long R&Rs and home leave, and children of separated parent travel, and the very un-American four weeks of vacation, and the perks of the FS shine through.

The Bottom Line

In a survey of FS single parents to sum up their experience in the FS lifestyle, I initially received nothing. Zero. Nada. Seriously, single parents in the Foreign Service have no time to answer informal surveys!

On round two of my informal survey the overwhelming response was that despite the difficulties, being a single parent in the Foreign Service is not only rewarding for both the parent and the children, but is also by and large considered easier than being a single parent in the US. Here are just some of the comments I received:

“The amazing cultural and educational opportunities for the kids.”

“The Foreign Service has given me the opportunity to bring my girls all over the world, introducing them to all sorts of cultures where women have large roles.”

“We are a family that is extraordinarily lucky, blessed beyond words, because I have her, she has me, and we live a very diverse, culturally rich, and extremely privileged life.”

“Even if I leave before mandatory retirement age I will not regret the career choice and tours I’ve had because they’ve all shaped me personally and helped all of us grow as citizens of a fascinating world.”

We may require a little bit of lead time to make child care arrangements, but once done, we dedicate ourselves to our jobs like any other officer. We are Foreign Service Officers. Not that we don’t sometimes second guess ourselves or some days find ourselves exhausted by the challenges. Not that we do not sometimes wonder why in the world we are doing this, dragging our kid(s) around the world away from our home country and family. But overall the benefits outweigh the challenges. You can not only survive in the Foreign Service but thrive and so will your kids. Single parents are represented in every level of the Foreign Service from the entry level officer to Ambassadors. We are specialists and generalists and in all of the Foreign Affairs Agencies: State Department, USAID, Foreign Commercial Services, and the Foreign Agricultural Services.

Oh, and our kids? Our kids are awesome.

Practical Thoughts/Advice

• Accept help (even if you have to pay for it). When traveling, instead of torturing yourself by lugging all your suitcases and kids on your own, pay the money for the luggage cart or porter service. There are even door-to-door delivery services! Believe you me, staged movement of the luggage and child at 50 foot visible intervals across the airport is no decent way to travel. Not that I have ever done that. You will be amazed at the kindness of others. Children are cherished in almost every country around the world and in my experience people will step in and help. In China not only do people hold my daughter’s hand on the escalator, lift her on or off transportation, or open doors for me with the stroller, but they are giddy with excitement for having helped. And those at post who offer to watch your child/children? Take advantage! I found myself reluctant to accept, after all, surely they were offering in jest to spend hours with a child completely unrelated to them. But look, if they did not want to help they would not have offered to help, right? Also, be sure to reciprocate – host their kids for a play date, take care of their pets while they are on vacation, buy them lunch, etc.

• Be realistic with yourself and upfront with post/ supervisor. You are not Super Single Parent, even if it sometimes feels that way. No need to volunteer for every extra job under the sun to prove yourself-your colleagues are generally not doing this, why should you? Have a straightforward conversation with your supervisor about your situation and what you can and cannot do. Manage expectations. And if circumstances change – you can take on more or you need to step back a little – have that conversation again.

• Remember that most people really do not understand the demands of being a single parent. The vast majority of suggestions and comments you encounter that seem unthinking are coming from a well-meaning place. You are likely just as unfamiliar with their personal experiences, right? If the time is appropriate gently bring them into the circle of trust, otherwise do as Queen Elsa and my toddler often sing and “Let it Go.”

• Although many of us single parents likely remember our Consular training on passports, it does not hurt to remind you that children under 16 require both parents to sign for their passport. In many instances you will need a notarized Form DS-3053: Statement of Consent. Also when traveling many countries may require a notarized letter consenting travel without the other parent. If you are the only parent noted on the birth certificate, then the birth certificate is good for passport and travel. http://travel.state.gov/content/passports/english/passports/under-16.html

• Have a plan. An emergency could be an authorized or ordered departure, or a medical emergency that leaves you indisposed, or should something happen to your child while you are on TDY, etc. Designate a family member in the US, create a power of attorney for one or two Americans at post, and when your child is old enough, talk to them about the plan and what to do in an emergency.

July 11, 2015 by trs

Visaland

[scene opens with the camera panning through a lush green bamboo forest]

[Voice over begins]

“In a land far, far away…” [camera rushes across a lake with a Chinese pagoda on its shore]

“There teems hundreds of thousands of souls…” [camera zooms across the Great Wall of China]

“eager for the opportunity to travel across the seas…” [camera zooms over the city of Shanghai]

“in search of opportunity, package tours, and luxury handbags.”

“This is China. This is VISALAND!” [camera pans over the crowd of visa applicants outside Westgate Mall]

“And facing this onslaught are the incredible visa officers of the Shanghai Consulate” [camera zooms toward an awesome group of smartly dressed Foreign Service Officers standing hands on hips, heads held high, in 1, 3, 5 formation]

“I am one of these officers.” [zooms in on me grinning]

Yes, Mission China is a study in visa superlatives. And working here, at least in my mind, is sometimes like a movie, perhaps a cross between Mission Impossible and Office Space.

China by the numbers.

The visa numbers for China are astounding.

H1-B visas, for temporary workers in specialty occupations, are limited each year to 65,000 worldwide (with a few categories that have exceptions to the quota). According to a United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) 2013 study, Chinese represented 8 percent of H1-B visa beneficiaries, the second largest group after India.

F-1 visas are for full-time students. Institute of International Education (IIE) data indicates Chinese students now make up nearly a third of all international students at US universities. The Chinese also appear to very much like US private secondary schools; they make up 46% of international students pursuing high school diplomas.

And Chinese tourists? Approximately a quarter of all US B1/B2 (tourist) visas issued worldwide go to Chinese! This year alone Mission China (all our Consular units in Beijing, Shenyang, Shanghai, Chengdu, and Guangzhou) is expected to issue some 2.3 million visas.

The average Chinese tourist spends US$6000 while visiting the States. That translates to tens of billions of dollars a year. And right now these Chinese tourists to the US represent only about two percent of Chinese travelers. Mind. Blown. Right?

Shanghai is the second largest non-immigrant visa (NIV) post in the world (blowing my previous post of Ciudad Juarez, ranked about number 15 for NIVs, out of the water) . We are in the top 10 of H1-B posts and a major post for student visas.

Since last November when the US and China announced an agreement to extend tourist visa validity from one to ten years, Chinese applications for US visas has been on the rise. Basically since my arrival in Shanghai, we have seen record breaking numbers every month.

In March we hit an all-time high, adjudicating more than 5,600 visas in a single day.

In April we printed a record-breaking one day total of 7,000+ visas. Yet in June, after the worldwide consular systems issue resulted in our being unable to print tens of thousands of visas, our incredible print team remained late one night immediately after systems were restored to print over 13,000 visas in a single day.

June is our busiest month. It is when our normal 50 student applicants a day (the average in March 2015) reach over 800 a day. In total, Consulate Shanghai adjudicated almost 87,000 visas in June 2015.

Early morning Shanghai, visa applicants begin to line up outside Westgate Mall.

What in the world is it like to work here?

Most days we aim for approximately 4300 interview appointments. That is more applicants than some posts see in an entire year! Each visa officer is expected to interview a minimum of 120 applicants a day, though most of us, once “on the line” for more than a few months exceed this amount.

I arrived in Shanghai in late January 2015 and due to my training schedule and the Chinese lunar New Year, which occurred just three weeks after my arrival, my first interview day was not until February 26. Yet from that time through June 30, I adjudicated over 9,000 visas. In June my month tally was 2,667. And to think I am one of the slower adjudicators.

I will be honest here, it isn’t easy. Interviewing that number of people every day is mentally and physically draining. It is not tiring in the same way as I found the Immigrant Visas in Ciudad Juarez. The complexity of the cases, the amount of paperwork, and the stakes for the applicant (to become a new US citizen or not) are generally higher in IV work. There were cases that kept me up at night and many that made me weep from joy or sorrow. There are cases from Juarez I doubt I shall ever forget.

It is the repetitiveness of NIV and the sheer number of cases per day in a post like Shanghai that wear on the visa officer. Still, I will not say I do not like the job. There are days that are fun and interesting; there are applicants that bring a smile to my face and even a few that cause me to choke back tears (generally happy ones).

I am astounded by the number of Chinese students who want to pursue their educational dreams half way around the world. At 18, I was pleased as punch to be going to an out-of-state school in Georgia, some 650 miles away from my Virginia home. And although I did do a study abroad in Beijing my fourth year, I am not sure I would have ever been ready at that age to spend four years studying so very far from home. I have had the pleasure (and sometimes pain) of interviewing easily over 1,000 Chinese preparing to go to the US for their BA, MA or PhDs. It can be mind-numbing to hear yet again that the reason for his/her interest in studying in the US is “because the US educational system is the best in the world” or “this school is ranked X in the US in my degree program” or “the teaching level of this school is optimal for my career goals,” which, as genuinely as the applicant may believe these statements, simply sound like well-practiced platitudes. It is far more interesting to hear an authentic declaration such as the student’s hope that they will find either llamas (California) or alligators (Florida) on their university grounds or their fervent fascination with the number of hectares the campus of their college occupies. Although these do not sound like particularly relevant reasons to choose to study at one school over another, they are a welcome change. Of course the best answers are the sincere and honest ones, in which the student’s eyes shine in anticipation and hope that you will grant them the visa and make the first part of their dream come true.

I am even more astonished at the number of students prepared to attend our private secondary schools. There is of course many a US family (many Foreign Service Officers among them) who choose to send their children to private boarding schools far from home. Yet, I am not of that world and my daughter is so young, I have a hard time imagining sending my 14 year old child 10,000 miles away for high school.

These children often arrive at their visa interview alone, on their own to present their case for study in America. Many are shy and stumble over their words. Others appear incredibly mature and confident. Faced with one such young female student I was impressed when she answered my question about being concerned to study in the US alone with “No, I welcome the adventure and the challenge.” Her tone told me she no doubt did.

I see relationships on display every day in the interview line. In a culture where public displays of affection are still infrequent, it is nice to see a father familiarly hang his arms across the shoulder of his wife and teenage son and grin or long-time friends give other a joyful slap on the back when they know they get to take their 18 day USA group tour together. While I may not be too sure of the idea of a two week group tour with my parents, here I have interviewed many adult children traveling with their parents, grandparents with their grandchildren, married siblings with their spouses, married couples with both sets of in-laws, even the occasional ex-husband and ex-wife traveling with their child. I am amused and intrigued by the number of newlyweds who wish to honeymoon with a group of friends-maybe it is actually a nicer way to celebrate?

Sure, as a visa officer at a busy post I only get a few minutes at most with each applicant and I cannot lie that there are days when I see this as monotony stretching for the next 22 months. But other days, I see, and feel, the amazing opportunity to both serve my country and interact with a heck of a lot of Chinese, who just want a chance to visit the US.

Some days it is pretty incredible in Visaland.

July 3, 2015 by trs

The Long, Not-so-long, Expat

On an extension, bidding prep, and the challenge of being at a post with too much to do

So the big news is that I have extended here in Shanghai. Or rather, my request to extend has been approved, because nothing like that happens without getting approval from DC.

Why in the world would I want to do even MORE visas? Especially when colleagues around me are applying for onward assignments that allow them to curtail. Many of the younger and/or single folks heading on to third tours opted to bid on and accept handshakes for positions in one-year unaccompanied posts, or the Priority Staffing Posts (PSP) like Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Pakistan, South Sudan, and Yemen. Of course married folks too opt for these posts. But me, the single mom of a toddler? No. No, I extend.

I requested the extension so that I might move from the winter bidding cycle on to the summer cycle, because A. there are more bidding options on the summer cycle and B. because soon enough school will become an issue for us and it would be nice not to have to pull my daughter out in the middle of a school year (though summer cycle does not guarantee that – nothing in the Foreign Service is ever really 100% a sure thing).

It helped my case that Chinese is a super hard language that generally takes 36 to 44 weeks at the Foreign Service Institute to reach the required level and China is experiencing a huge boost in visa applications and we are short staffed to meet demand (though making a super valiant effort anyway). Here I was, already in China, with the requisite Chinese level, asking to stay longer. So it was granted.

A three month extension brings my tour to April 2017, which makes me eligible for the summer cycle.

Bidding. It is bidding season now, though not mine, but there is that whiff of excitement and anxiety in the air. Colleagues who are in the midst of the cycle huddle together, whispering about “handshakes” and jobs “slipping off the list” and follow-up phone calls and emails, about interviews and “lobbying packets.” There is a whole vernacular devoted to mid-level bidding.

I will not start until next summer, yet it has not stopped me from already daydreaming about the possibilities. Alright, truth be told, I am doing far more than dreaming. I am researching potential posts. I am thinking through the ramifications of another stint at language learning at the Foreign Service Institute (something I swore up and down that I would NOT do before my third tour). I am imagining us in Post X in Central America or Post Y in Africa or Post Z in Asia. Do I want myself and my daughter to take anti-malarials the whole tour? Would friends and family visit? How difficult is it to import pets? Is the tour straight up Political or is it a Pol-Econ or jack of all trades? Is it an Embassy or Consulate, large post or small? How are the schools? Each and every one with positives and negatives to ponder.

However, although it is fun to research and ruminate over the options of where we might find ourselves living next, it is also a bit odd to already be thinking about the follow-on post. I liken it to running for the House of Representatives. No sooner have you been voted in when you begin to prepare and campaign for the next election.

Every month a farmer’s market of sorts is held in the atrium of the apartment complex where I live. There one can find fruits and vegetables from organic farms but also homemade chocolates and baked goods and other products. Many of the sellers are foreigners who have lived in Shanghai for awhile, they have set up businesses. Last month I stopped at a table where a woman, about my age, was selling specialty soaps and home tonics. I ended up talking with her for about 30 minutes and found out that it is a company she founded and operates with her husband – an Australian/New Zealand couple with seven and fourteen years living in Shanghai respectively.

I have spent the past few weeks thinking on that. My three month extension means that we still have approximately 22 months left here in Shanghai. [“Approximately” because an ETD is still always rather fluid as one could leave April 1 or April 30 or even March 1 or May 31 and still be within the general departure guidelines.] But Foreign Service Officers are generally less permanent and more nomadic than many other expatriates. We arrive in country knowing we are here for only a certain period of time. Sometimes you will hear us say such things as “I can live anywhere for two years.” So even if we have to put up with a less than ideal assignment, with less than ideal housing, with less than ideal local conditions, we know it is temporary.

And as a result I feel quite eager to see and do as much as I can in and around Shanghai before we move on to the next tour, wherever that may be. Yet there is just WAY too much to do in Shanghai. As I noted in my post the 5 Pros and Cons on Being Posted to Shanghai there are some 70 museums alone in the city and they keep opening them faster than you can visit. In the last few years alone several world class museums have opened. Add in the restaurants and special events (Cavalia, a sort of Cirque du Soleil with horses, is coming this month as is Linkin Park in concert) and the cultural and historical sights like the Bund, Yu Gardens, the temples, the French Concession… Next year brings the opening of both Shanghai Disneyland and Shanghai Legoland Discovery Center. What’s a history/museum/travel-loving mom to do?

Reading a “Real Post Report” for one small southern African post I am considering bidding for my next tour the author wrote that the biggest quandary on a Sunday would be whether to go to one hotel for brunch or another hotel to swim. I wonder how I would deal with that. Part of me thinks it sound wonderfully simple and another part of me worries I would be bored. Would I feel more like an expat and less like a long-term tourist?

For the time being it is a moot point. We still have time here. My biggest dilemmas are often should I rest after that exhausting week of visa interviews or should I pound the pavement and ride the metro to yet another incredible sight?

June 7, 2015 by trs

The 2015 USA Tour

Six cities, seven separate hotels/homes in four separate states, 11 flight legs covering over 20,000 miles equals just one vacation back to the U.S., Foreign Service style.

In my pre-FS, pre-mommy life my vacations generally entailed flying a long distance for 1-2 weeks, visiting multiple places, spending 1-2 days in each place. Case in point: my ten day May 2011 trip to France, just a month before I found out I was pregnant and six weeks before I joined the FS. I flew from Jakarta to Nice and visited Avignon, Nimes, Arles, St. Remy, Orange, Le Baux en Province, Uzes, Nice, Monaco, and Antibes. Now however, I spend more vacations back in the US visiting friends and family. The hardest part is deciding who and what to see in the US. On this trip, I embraced my former traveling self and tried to fit in as much as possible.

The first destination was Walt Disney World in Florida for our very first Disney experience together. On Saturday, May 16 we touched down in Orlando at 9 am after some 24 hours of travel time. I had nothing else planned for the day other than dinner with Cinderella. At 4:15 pm. That may seem a rather ridiculous time to have dinner, but faced with the choice of then or a 7:30 pm seating, I reasoned we would more likely be awake for the earlier. Still it was a struggle. At 3:45 pm in the lobby of the Grand Floridian resort outside the 1900 Park Fare dining room I had my doubts we would make it to dinner and I asked if we could get in on the first seating at 4 pm. The kindly let us do so which was a good thing as C valiantly stayed awake to greet Prince Charming, Cinderella, her stepmother and two stepsisters but then curled up in a ball and fell asleep in her chair.

We went immediately back to the hotel where I too fell asleep. We both woke up at 12:40 am. Wide awake and hungry but with everything closed at our hotel, I put C in the stroller and walked thirty minutes to a shopping center with a 24/7 McDonald’s. On Saturday Disney World closes at 2 am, so despite the hour we were not the only people up. There was regular traffic on the roads; we were passed by a jogger, other walkers, and a woman on roller blades.

We were at the park soon after the 9 am opening. I do not quite understand why the park opens so late. If it is open until midnight or 2 am for the night owls, then why not open for early risers or severely jet lagged at 6 am? I felt unexpectedly nervous about our first foray into Disney. All the park options, Fast Pass decisions, and such made my head spin. I expect Disney is overwhelming on any day, but through in some fresh-off-the-plane-from-Asia jet lag and it takes on a whole different dimension. The prospect of backpacking solo through the Amazon seemed less daunting than a day at Disney.

We made it to only three rides (the carousel, Winnie the Pooh, and Under the Sea) and two meet and greets with Ariel and Belle (where C was furious to be chosen as only a picture frame in the re-enactment story) before heading back to the hotel for lunch and a nap. I thought if we slept until 5 we could be on a 5:30 shuttle and be back in the park by 6 pm. Except the nap last 7 hours and we woke up at 9 pm instead. Oops.

Next we spent two and a half days relaxing at a Cocoa Beach condo with my long time friend CZ, her son, and another friend. We played napped, chatted, played in the pool or on the beach. CZ’s son turned one year old and we celebrated with cupcakes and NASA launched a rocket, which we could watch live from the condo balcony.

Next we flew on to Buffalo, NY. There I rented a car and drove to Rochester to stay with long time friend RH and attend the graduation ceremony of my Indonesian friend MF. After two days we headed back to Buffalo where C stayed overnight with her aunt and uncle and cousin so I could get a good night’s rest and spend early Sunday morning running through the streets in the Buffalo Half Marathon. The weather was perfect for a run, in the 60s with a light, cool breeze and I took the course slowly and enjoyed my toddler-free, no-visa-adjudication time immensely. We spent the rest of the day with C’s grandparents, who had driven up from Salamanca, and aunt, uncle, and cousin. On Monday, we had more family time at the Memorial Day fair on the Buffalo waterfront.

Our final destination was Lexington, KY. We spent a day exploring the city on our own with C and I making a pact – C enjoyed 2 ½ hours at the Children’s Museum and then fell asleep on cue as mommy started her one hour tour of the Mary Todd Lincoln house. I only had to carry her sleeping 32 ½ pound self through the whole house. We then spent the next two days with C’s dad.

All in all it was a wonderful trip back filled with friends and family. Icing on the cake was throwing in Disney World, a birthday celebration, a NASA rocket launch, a grad school graduation, a half marathon, history, and lots of Americana. Despite the jet lag, only days into the trip I knew it was completely worth it.

Some additional thoughts:

On traveling with my 3 year old toddler:

I think the biggest pain in the rear traveling solo with a toddler, a car seat, a stroller, two suitcases, a duffel bag and a toddler backpack is getting from curbside to check in or from the luggage carousel to curbside (or the rental car to the terminal or vice versa). I appreciate the airports having luggage carts available but not all that thrilled that they tend to have a $5.00 rental charge. In most cases one could receive 25 cents upon return of the cart (oooooh, how generous!), though how one is supposed to leave luggage and toddler to return said cart is a bit of a mystery. I spent approximately $50 total in luggage cart fees, often just so I could push my bundle of stuff between 50 and 200 feet.

The second hardest part was the number of times C asked to go home. To China. Every time we got on another flight she asked me if this one was the one to take us back to Shanghai. This means that 1. She is comfortable in our home and life in Shanghai, which is fantastic, but also 2. I made the right decision to decide to cut back on travel during our tour here (though I had hoped I might be wrong).

On my brief taste of US freedom:

The first thing I did upon landing in the US was turn on my iPhone (not used in China) and update my Facebook status. I could do it RIGHT THEN. Oh, the freedom! No waiting for the lengthy lag to get my computer started (which slowed after our arrival in China) and then log on to the VPN. Just doing that made me realize the accommodations I have made to enjoy our life in Shanghai. We DO have a nice quality of life in Shanghai. But it was great to use my iPhone and Facebook. It was great to not think about checking the air quality monitor. It was also really great not having everyone around us taking photos of us (ok, my toddler, no one cares to take pictures of me anymore) discreetly or otherwise.

We are glad to be home. Now only the four months during the busy, sultry, Shanghai summer stand between us and our next big vacation.

May 8, 2015 by trs

5 Pros and Cons on Being Posted to Ciudad Juarez

I enjoyed the exercise of writing up the pros and cons of living in Shanghai so much I thought I will go ahead and do one for my previous post Ciudad Juarez, Mexico.

PROS
1. Proximity to the US: Goods & Services. It is a little odd to find oneself posted “abroad” or “overseas” and yet be able to drive to the US in as little as ten minutes, with no seas whatsoever to go over. In this aspect I found Ciudad Juarez actually to be a post that could spoil a US diplomat. I arrived in Juarez with a six month old baby and did not once need to consider what size diapers or how many containers of formula or any kind of configuration for a consumables shipment. I did no massive shopping splurge before the departure to squirrel away US toiletries or medicines or laundry detergents or any number of hard to find US goodies into my Household Effects (HHE) shipment. There was no need. I knew I could drive to the US every weekend if I wanted. Heck, I could drive over after work.

You will pass this sign many, many, many times.

Worried about what car to buy when considering what kind of service or parts you may find in country X? Well, I just drove my car over to El Paso for gas and servicing most of the time. Need a doctor? I found a great pediatric office in El Paso for my daughter that even had evening and weekend hours! I had several medical procedures done across the border. I could be back the same day, taking only a half day of leave. And my cell phone service – I not only kept the same US phone and AT&T plan (though with a US-Mexico addition), but in certain corners of my Juarez home I had a signal!

2. Proximity to the US: Travel. Unfortunately, most of the State of Chihuahua is off limits due to insecurity, but a posting to Juarez presents the opportunity to explore the US Southwest.

Catch a game at the Chihuahuas Southwest University Park

Texas. El Paso itself is actually a pretty nice city. Enjoy minor league baseball at the stadium of the El Paso Chihuahuas, spend a day at the zoo, hiking or biking or running or taking the cable car in the Franklin Mountains, see a movie at the canyon or dance in the plaza. Visit the mysterious lights and past movie celebrity of Marfa or the National Historic Site and a Star Party at McDonald Observatory in Fort Davis. Explore the beauty of west Texas national parks like Guadalupe Mountains or Big Bend.

New Mexico. Search for aliens in Roswell, soak in the mineral baths of the game-show named Truth or Consequences, discover the excellent Pancho Villa State Park and museum in almost forgotten Colombus, wander in artistic and historic Santa Fe, trek and sled across the otherworldly dunes of White Sands National Monument, and ooh and aah the colorful ascension at Albuquerque during the world’s largest hot air balloon festival. Or explore Carlsbad Caverns National Park, ski at Ruidoso or Cloudcroft, or if you are into the final frontier follow New Mexico’s Space Trail, among many, many pursuits.

Dawn ascension at the Albuquerque Hot Air Balloon Festival

Further Afield. Travel around the US is within easy reach. The El Paso airport, though small, has a fairly good network of flights plus a bargain $5 a day long term parking, from which you can walk to the terminal. There are few places where you will be posted in the Foreign Service where you can fly to visit family or friends in the US for the weekend, without needing to take any leave.

3. The People. Despite all the violence and heartache the people of the city have been through, the Juarences are warm and friendly. My neighbors were kind and helpful (except that guy on the corner with the two mean free-roaming Chihuahuas who had the early morning mariachi party – see CONS). My nanny, a tough independent minded grandmother, had a heart of gold. And the local staff at the Consulate is absolutely wonderful. There is a reason that not only do we all leave Juarez with local friends but that probably more officers than any other post in the world marry Juarences.

4. Climate. Hot and dry. If you like that then you are in for a treat. The morning temperature is usually 20 to 30 degrees cooler than the high around 3 pm. This may mean a cold 30 degree morning in January that could warm up to 50 or 60 in the afternoon! Of course in summer this may mean 70 in the morning and a blazing 100 by afternoon but the humidity is low. Neighboring El Paso, TX, is nicknamed “Sun City” for its 302 days of sunshine a year. Weather-wise, what goes for El Paso, goes for Juarez. And the dazzling blue sky of the Chihuahua desert is truly one of the highlights of a tour in Juarez. Those skies and the incredible sunsets they produced. Here in high-rise, low air quality Shanghai, I miss them deeply.

Sunset over my Juarez neighborhood. One of the many, many beautiful sunsets Juarez gifted to me.

5. Dental/Medical Care. During a Mexican expat panel discussion in DC, an overriding theme emerged – Mexicans like to go back to Mexico for dental care. Why? They are well trained, often in the US, and they offer excellent work at excellent prices. I took advantage of this and had cleanings and several fillings replaced. My daughter had her first dental experience in Juarez. Besides the friendly and professional care we received, the dentist’s hours were a huge plus. She was open Mon-Fri from 10 am to 2 pm and again 4 pm to 8 pm, also Sat 10 to 2. How convenient! I also took my daughter to a pediatrician at the local hospital, within walking distance of both my home and the Consulate, open 4 pm to 8 pm in the evenings with appointment. Just feeling a bit under the weather? Head to a nearby pharmacy where doctors have consultation hours and charge less than US$20. Plus our Consulate also had a really fantastic nurse. We were not sick often in Juarez, but I was glad we had so many great options when we were.

CONS
1. Violence. Earning the epithet “Murder Capital of the World” just a few years ago, Juarez is a danger pay post and for good reason. Although the situation has been improving, and this improvement has been featured in articles in the New York and LA Times and even an International Crisis Group report, murders, disappearances, extortion, carjackings and other violent crimes are still common in the city and throughout the state of Chihuahua. The murder rate dropped from over 2,000 in 2011 to almost 600 in 2013, which is still higher than the murder rate of any US city.

A stark reminder. At the memorial recognizing the hundreds of Juarez feminicides.

Although I never felt personally unsafe or concerned about the safety of my daughter, there were times when the atmosphere of violence closed in. Over the course of the two years there were three armed events at the nice mall across the street from the Consulate (and within walking distance of my house) including the shooting of a fitness center receptionist. A policeman was shot two blocks from my house, on my running route. A quadruple homicide occurred in a garage that I had run by a few times, another happened in a popular Italian restaurant frequented by Consulate workers. I heard gunshots more than once. Also, sadly, one of our own local staff members was shot and killed in front of his family.

I did not think I would have need for this service in the desert, but yes, mosquitoes are also a problem.

2. Wildlife. The first time I found a scorpion in the house some five weeks after our arrival I was a bit dumbfounded. I found it on the second floor of the house and I spent a long time wondering how it had found its way there. Had it crawled along the wall? Through some ducts? Up the stairs? The second time I noticed the cats playing with something on top of my baby’s play mat. The nanny came over, looked at it, and pronounced alacran in the same way one might say, “Oh look, it’s a puppy!” She declared it dead. But as I went to scoop it up in a cup, it scampered away. The nanny shrugged, “At least it is not a tarantula.”

Another day playing outside with my daughter a friendly, English-speaking neighbor came over to tell me, “You should be careful around those rocks, because, um, I cannot remember the word in English, because, because…” She conferred with a friend in Spanish. “Oh, yes, the black widow spiders, yes, they like to hide in there.”

3. Dust. It is everywhere. Juarez and its sprawling 1.5 million population is an island in the Chihuahuan desert, the largest desert in North America. Beyond the city limits there are miles and miles and miles of sand. During wind storms, often in the early part of the year, the wind lifts all that sand and blows it everywhere. Imagine that sand on your clothes, on your car, in your garage, your house, your lungs…

4. Cost. This might come as a bit of a surprise, but you are so close to the border many things cost the same as in the US. This will include your child care. I did not pay as much as I would in DC, but I paid almost as much in Juarez as I do in Shanghai. Some things actually cost less in the US, like baby/child supplies and toys, as evidenced by the hundreds, if not thousands, of Juarences who cross the border daily for shopping. For other things be prepared to shell out money double time. Driving to the US (except on the Free bridge) will cost a toll of $2.50 and $3.00 on the way back. You will need both US and Mexican car insurance. You will also need to apply for the SENTRI card to access the express lane for the US and of course the Mexican equivalent on the other side. You may need two phone plans or at least a special US-Mexico plan.

5. Middle of the night Mariachi/Norteño band parties. Like ones that start at 2 am, early on a Wednesday morning, without warning, at your neighbor’s house, and continues until 3 or 4 or…

May 3, 2015 by trs

5 Pros and Cons on Being Posted to Shanghai

Several other Foreign Service bloggers are putting forth posts on the five pros and cons of their city/country. This might be a post better written with more time under my belt, but what the heck, here it is:

PROS
1. Things to do. There is no shortage of things to do in your spare time in Shanghai. Are you into museums? Shanghai reportedly has over 70 museums with something for everybody. These include large world-class spaces such as the China Art Museum, the Shanghai Science and Technology Museum, the Shanghai Museum, and the newly reopened, refurbished Shanghai Natural History Museum. Yet you can also find lesser known museums such as the Shanghai Post Museum, the Shanghai Museum of Glass, the Shanghai Museum of Public Security, and the Shanghai Urban Planning Exhibition Center, which is so much cooler and fascinating than its title leads one to believe. There are also the little one or two room gems such as the Propaganda Poster Museum or the Shanghai Chopsticks Museum.

Are you interested in history? Although Shanghai cannot compete with the 600+ year history of Beijing, its history is nonetheless fascinating. Stroll through tree lined streets of the former International Settlement or French Concession area to see beautiful homes from the 1920s and 1930s during Shanghai’s celebrated and turbulent coming of age. Or stroll along the iconic Bund on a sunny day and contemplate the historic waterfront, then turn to look across the Huangpu River at the modern high rises of Pudong.

Do you like hills and nature? You might not believe it but Shanghai’s highest peak, Sheshan Hill, is surrounded by Sheshan National Forest Park and the 10 acre Chenshan Botanical Garden, one of the largest in the world, is nearby. You can also find restored Shikumen, a type of residential neighborhood popularized in Shanghai in the early 20th century, with winding narrow lanes filled with boutique stores and restaurants. The most famous are Xintiandi and TianziFang. Within Shanghai limits you can visit several ancient water towns, think Venice with a Chinese flair. There is a zoo and an aquarium and a wild animal park. If you like amusement parks Shanghai has several with the Shanghai Disneyland set to open in early 2016.

Of course there are also restaurants and bars galore serving all manner of cuisines and atmosphere. For kids there are indoor play areas, parks, and summer camps. If you like to watch sports you might be interested in Shanghai’s Formula One or the Rolex Masters. If you like to participate there is anything from tai chi in the park to the international marathon. There are even several vertical marathons, given Shanghai also boasts some of the highest buildings in the world. There are world-class stages where you may to see such performances as Chinese Opera or Katy Perry.

It is quite obvious I could go on and on and on. Yet I do not have the space and unfortunately even if you stayed here more than one tour, you would be hard pressed to see and do it all.

Don’t hate me because my apartment is beautiful.

2. Housing. You will not be disappointed with your home in Shanghai. A common complaint in the Foreign Service is the Drexel Heritage furniture that you find wherever you go, whether posted to Jakarta or Juarez or Tbilisi or Timbuktu, but here in Shanghai you get a break from Drexel (or DrexHell as some lovingly call it) as all the housing is furnished in house. All are serviced apartments or villas with at least twice weekly housecleaning service. The amenities and conveniences in each of the housing options are numerous. Whatever your day brings you, your home in Shanghai is nice to return to.

3. Travel. Even with the incredible number of things to do in Shanghai you do occasionally need to get out of town. No problem. Shanghai has four main rail stations that will take you to famous nearby destinations such as Hangzhou, Suzhou, and Nanjing. The high speed rail will whisk you to Beijing in only five hours. Or head to one of Shanghai’s two international airports and head off to Chengdu to see pandas or Hainan Island for beaches or any number of incredible Chinese destinations. Or if you are tired of China, flights out of Pudong head to over 70 international destinations, with frequent flights to Southeast Asia.

4. Energy. There is a spirit and energy in Shanghai that is infectious. Although entrepreneurship is not easy in China, and sometimes the local government runs afoul of Beijing, people in Shanghai are making things happen. There is a buzz and hum to the streets. Seeing some of the tallest buildings in the world rise up to the sky and beautiful feats of architecture and innovation in the form of incredible new museums is astounding. When I first visited Shanghai in 2002 there were three metro lines with a total of 35 stations, today there fourteen lines with a total of 337 stations. People in Shanghai are literally moving and shaking! There are most certainly many wealthy people in the city (see the cons) and a certain amount of capital is required to make projects move, but it is the everyday people, both foreign and local, that are shaping the future of this city and beyond. It makes you want to do more yourself!

5. Work. There are plenty of pundits which define the U.S. – China bilateral relationship as one of the most important in the world. Of course all diplomatic work matters, but diplomatic work done in China is most definitely on the radar in Washington and Beijing. In whichever city you work, in whatever section you work, your contribution to the team effort is important. As part of the massive U.S. Consular effort in China, know that each tourist you approve to visit the U.S. spends an average of $5,400 during their trip. Every sixteen Chinese tourists to the U.S. supports one U.S. job. Last year that meant 1.8 million Chinese tourists spent over 2.1 billion dollars in the U.S. That number is expected to grow in 2015.

Pollution mask or no pollution mask? That is the question.

CONS
1. Poor Air Quality. It is very unfortunate with all the wonderful things that Shanghai has to offer that the pollution levels are at times too bad to spend much time outdoors. You will quickly bookmark the Consulate’s Air Quality Monitor link and even if a quick look out your window tells you the air is bad, you still check the AQM to find out just how bad.

2. Internet Access. You have probably heard by now that the Chinese government tightly controls access to the Internet and/or rather certain sites on the Internet. Over 2,700 sites actually. All you want to do is read the news on BBC, or get on to Facebook to post your latest photos from another day out in fabulous Shanghai, or send an email from your Gmail account, or watch a video on YouTube, or post to your WordPress blog, but every single one of these sites is inaccessible through the domestic Internet. In order to access such sites one must employ a Virtual Private Network (VPN) and it is a constant (and frustrating) cat and mouse game.

3. Costs. In 2014 Forbes ranked Shanghai the 10th most expensive city in the world. I talked about the high prices of many items in my post Lap of Luxury. There is a good reason that Foreign Service officers receive a 50% Cost of Living Adjustment here. Still I wonder who buys all of these luxury goods? Who can afford 200 RMB (US$32) for half a pound of cherries? The millionaires of course! Shanghai also ranks in the top ten cities with the most number of millionaires, over 166,000. There are also over 1000 multimillionaires and approximately 23 billionaires. If you have preschool aged children and want to send them to an international preschool (State Department does NOT cover this) get ready to fork out the dough. The average cost is US$24,000 a year. For preschool!

4. Crowded/Lack of Privacy. There are over 14 million people living in Shanghai so it is a pretty good assumption you will never, ever be alone. If you make the mistake of heading to IKEA or the Science and Technology museum on a rainy Saturday (guilty on both counts) be prepared for the deafening crowds. If you attempt to stop to look at a display it is very likely you will be carried away with the flow. I have had bags ripped from my hands on the subway as people jostled to get on and off the train. Once I even nearly lost hold of my three year old in a similar crowd and it was a terrifying moment. And speaking of adorable blonde three year old cherubs; if you happen to have one or two, cameras will constantly be pointed at your child. A quick stop to check a map and I can look up to find we are surrounded by cell phone camera wielding Chinese. If you look anything other than Chinese, then when out and about, it can feel a bit like living in a fishbowl.

5. Work. You will be busy. Very, very busy. As awesome as it is to be part of something as significant as the U.S.-China bilateral relationship, it is also important to have some downtime to enjoy some of Shanghai’s numerous diversions. There are many days when I simply do not have the energy to leave the apartment again once home. (good thing for #2 in the Pros)

EDIT: Honorable Mention PRO: I have already received a few messages letting me know I have been remiss in not mentioning two very fabulous aspects of any Shanghai/China tour. One would be massages. I hear ya. There is a massage place on just about every other block and if you can get off the main drag they are more than reasonably priced. Another is shopping. This country is the manufacturer of the world after all. Yet I am not talking about clothes and knock off electronics. Of course you can buy lovely chopstick sets, hand painted perfume bottles, and have your name carved into a Chinese chop. There are also furniture shops and pearl markets. So when the cons start to get you down have a massage to melt the stress away or indulge in a little retail therapy.

May 1, 2015 by trs

Three Months in Shanghai: The Good, the Bad, and the Downright Disgusting

Three months. Wow. I can hardly believe it. Here we are now one-eighth of the way through my two year tour. All of my Household Effects (HHE) have been delivered. The apartment is set up. C is in swim lessons. The nanny is working out great. I got the visa interviewing thing down.

When I started to think about this post, I wanted to write about all the great things C and I have seen and done since our arrival. Shanghai is a city chock full of things to do, places to visit, activities to experience.

Then it happened, that magical time in the cultural adaptation cycle when the honeymoon is over and you start to kinda, sorta, really, really, become bothered by little things. Sometimes Every. Little. Thing. Culture Shock.

Yeah, there I am, right there in that trough.

Early this week I was walking to work the “short cut” way. It is not really a short cut in the true sense of the word. It is basically the same number of blocks, just less traffic on the “back way” allows for opportunities to jaywalk and thus arrive at one’s destination faster.

Anyway, I am walking along that road and get to this section of sidewalk that is just so disgustingly dirty that sometimes when I walk on it I slide. This section of sidewalk is only for half a block. It is caked with filth and for whatever reason a bulldozer is parked on one part of it. That morning I saw another person approaching me on the road rather than the grimy segment, and I too decided I would prefer the street.Of course I do not believe the street any cleaner however I do not expect a street to be clean and the sidewalk is an affront to my sense of order.

I thought to myself: I have been here for three whole months and no one has even attempted to clean this sidewalk. It is in a nice section of town and there it sits all mucky. Someone should power wash this sidewalk! I generally dislike power washing sidewalks because it seems like such a waste of water, but this here sludgy, slimy sidewalk screams “power wash me!” And I will probably walk this way on my last day to work in two years and it will STILL be sickening slick and revolting. It will never, ever, ever be cleaned.

I hate that sidewalk.

And the “work in progress” site that is directly in front of the Cartier store that has been in progress for three whole months without any visible work being done EVER.

Art installation or social experiment maybe, but certainly not a work in progress.

And then while buying a salad in the swank Isetan department store the cashier, before giving me my change, turned back from the register, cleared her throat in the classic Chinese style, and hocked a loogie into the trashcan in front of me. Nice one lady. That sound may haunt me for weeks.

And there is the pollution. It makes me crazy that my top used bookmark for Shanghai is the Consulate’s Air Quality Monitor. Is it a face mask worthy day? Or a just don’t bother going outside at all kind of day?

Hey, wanna play outside? Hang on, let me just get my air pollution mask with exhale valve.

And those people who ride the elevator in in our work building. Those ones, who even when they see you coming or even that you are right behind them, start pushing the door close button as soon as they can; I got hit with the doors pretty hard on Monday. Thanks a million lady. I hope one day you need a visa and you happen to get in my line… (I know, I know, undiplomatic thoughts, bad)

And as I predicted in my post Lap of Luxury, I have grown irritated running the luxury brand gauntlet to and from work. Or basically whenever I leave my apartment. After three months of passing a window display of a sweet pair of Ferragamo shoes on my daily commute, I finally went in to ask the price. Big mistake.

See that lovely pale blue shoe on the left? Only 7,200 RMB or $1150. I hope it comes with a second one for free.

So, this is actually a really, really, really good time to remind myself of the many good things we have already experienced

I have a long list of things I want to see and do in Shanghai and I have most certainly not been remiss is getting out and about. In the category of temples we have visited touristy Jing’An Temple and the quiet, reserved Temple of the Jade Buddha.

Temple of the Jade Buddha

We went to the top of the iconic Oriental Pearl Tower and even sauntered out on the glass bottom walkway. Especially for C we visited the Shanghai Aquarium and M&Ms World.

C and her stuffed cat contemplate Shanghai from the top of the Oriental Pearl Tower.

I have also dragged her to the Shanghai City Museum, the Shanghai Municipal History Museum, the Shanghai Urban Planning Museum, the Shanghai Postal Museum, and the Propaganda Poster Museum. To C’s credit she usually promptly drops off to sleep to give me time to enjoy the exhibits.

The incredible scale model of the city at the Shanghai Urban Planning Museum.

I have been through the culture shock rigmarole quite a few times and I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. That sidewalk might bother me for awhile (especially if it is never, ever cleaned and/or that bulldozer never, ever moved) but the bright side is we have sidewalks, right? Not every place does. Just trying to keep things in perspective.

April 19, 2015 by trs

Foreign Service Flexible: On Housing and HHE

Yesterday I received my supplemental HHE (Household Effects) delivery. Another 800 pounds of stuff from the U.S., eleven weeks after we arrived in China.

The “plan” (and when you are in the Foreign Service “plan” almost always has to be in quotation marks) was for this shipment to arrive approximately 4 to 5 weeks after our arrival. We packed out on January 21 of this year. Boats take about a month and then customs clearance about a week. If only our shipment had been on the first available boat. It wasn’t.

For whatever reason the shippers reserved my shipment onto a boat departing the U.S. in late February, with an expected arrival at Shanghai port on March 23. It must not have arrived until the following week and the week after I was asked for photocopies of my credentials to send to the port for clearance.

Well no worries, our stuff is here.

At least once (though probably more often) in a Foreign Service Officer’s career, she will ask herself, when opening up the UAB or HHE or supplemental HHE or consumables shipment…”What was I thinking?”

350 pounds of cat litter. 50 pounds of cat food. Two 200 count boxes of Fla-Vor-Ice (C’s favorite snack). One bag 300 count dum-dums (C’s other favorite snack). Four boxes of Fiber One buttermilk pancake mix. Various cans of food stuffs like Campbell’s soup, pumpkin filling (for pumpkin pancakes!), canned chicken breast. Boxes of cat items, toys, and all my Chinese study materials.

This is what 350 pounds of cat litter looks like. I know you were wondering.

Now where to put this stuff?

Moving in the Foreign Service (or other similar endeavors) is always a crapshoot when it comes to housing. The size and style and type of housing vary widely from post to post. On one hand African posts are known for their very generous house sizes. On the other hand Western European posts generally have less-spacious apartments.

I had a large three bedroom apartment in Jakarta with a kitchen the size of some master bedrooms and a large space between the living room and the dining area. I guess it was a hallway, but “hallway” belies its size. I also had more shelving and cabinets than I knew what to do with. In Juarez I had a three-bedroom, 2.5 bath, two story single family home with two car garage. I had some space. Here in Shanghai I have a 2 bedroom with den apartment. Do not get me wrong, it is a very lovely apartment, but it is smaller than previous housing and lacks much storage space. I do not even have a hall closet.

The “Great Hall” at my Jakarta residence. Perfect for wind sprints. And the large area on the right that looks like a doorway? Nope, it is a giant built in shelving unit. Storage and space. The novelty!

No problem. When I received my housing assignment in November, I was informed the apartment came with a 9 x 9 foot storage locker on another floor. Fantastic!

It was because I knew I had this storage space I went out and bought all that cat litter and cat food, a two year supply of feminine hygiene products, children’s shampoo and medicines, and toothpaste and toothbrushes. Also a two year supply of liquid laundry detergent or pods because an informant told me they were hard to come by and horribly expensive and local products were harsh (true), and six large bottles of olive oil as another informed me these too were scarce (not true).

It is why I bought some 400 packets of sugar substitute and some 800 zip-lock baggies in a variety of sizes (not sure what I will use them for, but they sure seemed important to buy at the time).

It is because of this storage unit that I figured I could easily stow my growing George Foreman Grill and cat carrier collections.

(Yeah. I know. Not your usual collections. It would seem I bought a new GF grill every time I was posted to DC and the cat carriers – you need a different kind for every different kind of travel. Large hard side for cargo shipping. Small hard side for car travel. Small soft side for in cabin plane travel. Sigh.)

Upon arrival in Shanghai I found a welcome letter that again mentioned my storage unit. A few days later I was ready to wheel down some empty suitcases to storage. Unfortunately the small key on my key ring turned out not to be for any storage unit, but for mail. The guards on the storage floor directed me to the apartment complex office. The office referred me to the Consulate. The Consulate informed me that all new contracts did not include a storage unit and mine, it turned out, is a new contract.

Wait. What?!

To become a Foreign Service Officer the State Department looks for individuals who exhibit certain qualities. Although it is not explicitly one of the thirteen dimensions, “flexibility” is a word very often extolled in our line of work. Think of all the times we move. The different countries and cultures we find ourselves in. The number of times our colleagues and our supervisors change. You need to be flexible when it takes over nine months to ship and clear your car through customs in a two year tour. You need to be flexible when you spend seven months learning Norwegian and it turns out the Department will instead need you in Japan. You need to be flexible when you do not get any of your top twenty choices for a post and end up where you least expected (and wanted).

And you need to be flexible when post informs you, a week after your arrival, that you do not in fact have the storage unit you had previously been informed you had. Even after you sent 800 pounds of extra stuff to post specifically because you were told you had that storage unit.

You might want to be annoyed. You might want to rail against the unfairness. You might want to pout. But in the end you need to accept, let it go, and be flexible.

To their credit, the folks at the Consulate tried their best to fix the situation, within the confines of what they could do. I now have a storage unit, but on a temporary basis as it belongs to another apartment and when the occupant vacates next summer, I have to move all my remaining belongings back to my guest room.

I am very excited to have the opportunity to move most of this back into my apartment in a little over a year’s time.

So I have a goal to reduce my total HHE I brought to Shanghai by at least 1,000 pounds by departure, and to get rid of most of that before I have to lug it all back into my apartment next July.

Planning and organizing. That is another Foreign Service quality. I have that in spades.

I am so flexible I will continue to refer to this as my guest room.

April 5, 2015 by trs

Hanging in Hangzhou

“Above there is Heaven, below there is Suzhou and Hangzhou” ~ really old Chinese saying

Well, I wouldn’t go THAT far, but it turned out better than expected given the weather.

Murphy’s Law: The day before, even the day of, our departure to Hangzhou was lovely. Then once we were on our way it wasn’t. Our first trip outside of Shanghai since we arrived 9 weeks ago and the weather was terrible. I cannot be exactly sure, but it may have begun to rain the minute our high-speed train departed Hongqiao Station.

And it kept raining.

Through the train journey. Through the ride in the taxi to our Hangzhou hotel. Through the night. And through our first day.

I had wanted for years to visit Hangzhou and had certainly been looking forward to this trip (almost desperately) for weeks and now…

Queen Elsa and Princess Elsa seem as disappointed as I contemplating the poor weather.

We had breakfast in our room and I poured over the Hangzhou tourist brochure looking for something, almost anything, that we could do on a rainy day. But even the tea museum had an outdoor component. So I gave in.

I decided our first day would just be a relaxing day at the hotel. Just C and I. And I looked at the bright side.

I managed our first trip in China. Getting C and I to the train station on the metro and then to Hangzhou with the two of us sharing a single seat on the one hour journey. I managed, with the help of my little spitfire, to get us from the Hangzhou train station to our hotel. Surrounded by taxi touts refusing en masse to use their meters and tossing out crazy, inflated numbers. As I walked away and they followed, C yelled at them “Leave my mommy alone. BU KEYI!” Yes, in Chinese she told them to basically buzz off. (Well, she said “Cannot!” but I know what she meant.”) I negotiated from 80 RMB ($12.80) to 50 RMB ($8). (Though of course, as I learned later, the real meter cost is 12 RMB or $1.92).

We had a lovely lunch at the hotel and then we went to get a foot massage. Or rather I did while C enjoyed the adjacent chair – in our private room! – with her iPad and then fell asleep for her nap. This is the first massage I have had since a post-partum one within a month of C’s birth. I also read a book. Gasp!

We enjoyed an hour swim together in the hotel pool and then dinner. The hotel had a Tex-Mex promotion and did not do half bad. Sure, I had never before had Mexican Lasagna, but it was very tasty.

When I threw open the curtains on day two to find another overcast, grey day however, I felt a bit defeated. I debated just cutting our loses and heading back to Shanghai whether I received a refund on the third night at the hotel or not. I did not know however if I could get a ticket back on the train. It was a holiday weekend after all. And then, through the clouds, I saw a little glint of sunlight hit a nearby building. So I threw some clothes on C and myself and we headed out.

I thought I would first thing get a taxi to Hangzhou’s famed West Lake. But down in the lobby I thought to the glimpse of greenery, a park perhaps?, I had seen across the street with what looked like a traditional Chinese bridge. We would head there first to see and then back to the hotel for a taxi.

We did find not only a park but a canal filled with upgraded traditional dugout canal boats. In a little exercise park by the canal, friendly grandmas and grandpas getting in some workouts and moms and their kids out for a stroll, came over to check us out and chat us up. They were curious and sweet, testing my Chinese and practicing their English. One woman told us rather than head back to our hotel, why didn’t we head to the little canal boat dock on the other side of the bridge, and head down river a ways?

So we checked out the bridge, where we again became the subject of much kind interest and then over to the boat dock. Turns out the boats are canal taxis. They are fitted with mechanical transport card readers. I did not have a card of course and asked how much. I did not get far as a kind older woman motioned to me and C as she scanned her card three times. It was on the house. (I think it cost 3 RMB, or 48 cents, for a ride)

What a fantastic little trip! We meandered along the canal (or a river with incredibly tamed banks) for at least half an hour. I honestly lost track of time. Our canal trip benefactor took the opportunity to snap some pictures of C enjoying the boat (as did I) and since she had been so nice we both acquiesced to a photo with C on her lap and giving her a hug (because no one gets a photo like this unless C agrees). The canal was lined on both sides with a tree lined walking paths and periodically with covered Chinese gazebos where old people rested and watched the water, did exercise or played Chinese musical instruments. People walked their dogs. Moms and dads walked with their babies and children. The low clouds created a mist that only made it more inviting.

Just some of the beautiful scenes along the boat trip.

We were let off at the terminus where pretty little white houses with grey roofs and red lanterns lined the canal. We walked back a little along the canal path, underneath willows and plum trees in bloom. C ran and laughed. Geez, it was lovely.

Then we made our way on foot several blocks to West Lake. We stopped for lunch and unfortunately the skies opened up and buckets fell. Thankfully it started after we entered the restaurant and by lingering a bit longer it ended before we left. A few blocks more and we found the lake.

The weather was still overcast. Clouds hung low and the opposite bank, even boats on the water, could barely be seen through the mist. Still it was beautiful and, judging by the crowds, we were not the only ones longing for a stroll by the lake.

We walked for hours. C alternated between the stroller and running excitedly ahead. When it drizzled, we found refuge under the trees or in one of the lakeside gazebos or even once in a temple. King Qian’s Temple was a wonderful respite from the buzz of the Chinese crowds. It cost 15 RMB to get in and I was a bit hesitant at first, but I am so glad we took the time to visit. Just off the main path around the lake it was as if we were suddenly transported a long way away. The crowds were gone, only a handful of other people were inside, and it was so incredibly quiet.

Enjoying the tranquility of King Qian’s temple.

I did not make it all the way around the lake. I had no such anticipation when I started as it is expected to take approximately FIVE HOURS to do so. Yet I did not even make it to Leifeng Pagoda. C conked out in her stroller and I too became tired. So I made the decision to head back to the hotel but told myself that Hangzhou is worth another trip, soon.

About as close to the Leifeng Pagoda as we got. Not a bad view, despite the clouds.

I think C enjoyed the trip. The one part though that seemed to disappoint her is that we never did find “Joe.” Seems every time I mentioned going to “Hangzhou” she heard something about “Joe” (zhou in Chinese is pronounced quite similar to the name Joe). Even just now as I write this, while looking over the pictures of our trip, she said, “Next time let’s visit Joe.”

So there is likely to be a next time.

March 12, 2015 by trs

The Lap of Luxury

I work on the eighth floor of a posh mall on Shanghai’s most extravagant commercial street in the heart of China’s wealthiest city. As I walk to work I pass such stores as Cartier, Dolce & Gabbana, Chloé, Mont Blanc, Tiffany & Company, Fendi, Rolex… Inside the mall where I work are high-class stores such as the up-scale Japanese department store Isetan, Godiva (the chocolatier), Ermenegildo Zegna, Cerrutti 1881, Versace, Coach, and Burberry. Our applicants reflect this environment, some dressed to the nines and I have seen some of the most stylish nails around while fingerprinting (though I admit it, I have also seen some of the most hideous nails one could imagine).

My apartment is in one of the towers of the Shanghai Centre, part of Shanghai’s Portman Ritz Carlton hotel complex. This year Shanghai Centre is celebrating its 25th anniversary as Shanghai’s first multi-purpose building, and was once the tallest building in the city. Within the complex are offices, including several Consulates (like that for Ireland), restaurants, a supermarket, clinic, pharmacy, and theater (home to the Shanghai Acrobatic Troupe, the oldest such troupe in Shanghai). Amongst the retailers at the Shanghai Centre are Salvatore Ferragamo, Christian Louboutin, Miu Miu, and Paul & Shark.

Inside my apartment, from where I sometimes have a breathtaking view across the city towards Pudong (when it is not obscured by a pollution haze), where I can make out half of the iconic Oriental Pearl Tower, there are wooden floors, marble countertops, and leather closet doors. (LEATHER CLOSET DOORS! Who in the world needs leather closet doors? Certainly not a woman with two cats with sharp claws!!) It is bright and inviting place to come home.

The supermarket is full of imports. The cheese selection is incredible. Twenty years ago there was imported cheese at a few upscale supermarkets, but the quality and quantity were far less. In 1994, as a student in China, I recall heading down to Sanlitun with several of my classmates. This was the area for the international stores, the Beijing World Trade Center, and Embassies. After more than a month traveling around China, even the more adventurous eaters amongst us were craving some goodies from home. I found a large block of cheddar cheese for US$10. I circled the store three, four times before I gave in and bought it. (My friends bought ice cream. Imagine four foreigners sitting on a city curb in the sweltering July heat; three eating ice cream, one gnawing on a block of cheese.)

Nowadays in the Shanghai Centre City Shop supermarket you can buy just about all you might want. Though a bag of Tostitos will cost you $7.80, a pack of shredded mozzarella for $7.60, a 250g package of light butter for $6.99, a 16 fluid oz jar of baby kosher dill pickles for $7.20, approximately $10 for a box of regular sized box of cereal, and the most expensive thing I have bought thus far was the 6.2 fluid oz of maple syrup for $19!! Shanghai is amongst the most expensive cities in the world, and for prices like these State Department employees do receive a 42% cost of living allowance (COLA). This is not an additional 42% of salary, but rather percentage of spendable income, calculated by the portion of salary expected to be used to purchase goods and services included in a market basket. It sure helps, because pancake Sunday with my daughter is not nearly so great without the maple syrup.

Walking back from the supermarket through the garage today, I passed multiple Mercedes-Benz, Porsche, BMW, Lexus, Jaguar, Land Rover, Audi, and Cadillacs. Yesterday, on a walk around the neighborhood I passed a Lamborghini. I feel rather relieved I decided to leave my classic, dependable, non-descript silver Honda Civic at home. Not just because I would have been a nervous wreck driving around Shanghai, but also as it would have stood out like a sore thumb.

There is one place that appears to stand out – the McDonald’s. It is located in the CITIC Square mall adjacent to our mall. Inside you will find such shops as Armani Collezioni, Lancel Paris, Max Mara, Givenchy, and Pandora. On the lower ground level you will find McDonald’s, across from Starbucks and Wagas, an upscale sandwich and salad shop, and cattycorner to Armani Jeans. Still this is a McCafe, with all the usual McDonald’s fare, but also quality coffee, delicate macaroons, and petit cakes. There are no wait staff or white table cloths, but it is not as incongruous as one might expect. The diners are generally dressed smarter than in the average U.S. McDonald’s.

It is not a bad place to be, this area where I work and live. It is an area of high fashion and low crime, short hemlines and high boots. It is smart and clean and bright, even after the sun sets. The sidewalks are broad and perfect for a stroll. But I am so conscious of the conspicuous commercialism, of the lavish affluence. The billboards, with their airbrushed models dressed in stylish clothing and shoes and handbags, stare down at me as I pass beneath them. I have once or twice eyed a smart handbag or chic dress, even stopping for a moment to look, before I snap back to reality and realize these ensembles would set me back a good chunk of a paycheck, if not the whole thing. I have only once owned an Armani dress, something a friend passed on to me before she moved abroad. You will also find some nice Nine West or Anne Klein shoes in my closet, as a sweet pair of high heels is one of the few things on which I will splurge. But mostly I am a recovering backpacker and though I love the clean lines of a beautiful well-made dress, I am most comfortable in an old, comfortable pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and flip-flops.

I can write about this now because although I am aware, it is not yet bothering me. Yet, I know there will be days when all of this lavishness is going to get to me. It will make me sad. It will make me angry. I know there are days when I am going to feel like a chump for spending what I do on a box of cereal or a small bottle of maple syrup. And it will occur to me that the cost of those items would probably feed a family of four for a week in some countries. Or that the cost of a single pair of deliciously gorgeous but ridiculously expensive Christian Louboutin shoes is about the equivalent of a plane ticket back to the US. I will feel small and powerless at times thinking about the global economy and the intersecting lines of wealth and poverty.

I know because I felt it acutely at some particularly low moments while living in Jakarta, as I slid up the escalator from the basement supermarket, hands full of groceries, in yet another designer mall, filled with wealthy well-coiffed Jakarta women with their Prada bags and Gucci watches and Chanel something or other, followed by two charmingly dressed children who were themselves each followed by plain-clothed, plain-faced minders. There are days it would make me feel so unimportant and unattractive and other days it just made the world feel ugly.

Thankfully, I know I can feel this way and knowing is half the battle, right? I have already found that even here on Nanjing Lu, behind the high fashion façade there are everyday people doing everyday things. Just a block or two away, you will find the fruit seller where you can buy blueberries and oranges and strawberries for a fraction of the cost of the Shanghai Centre City Shop. You can find supermarkets and beauty salons with more reasonable prices. You will see the colorful laundry hung out to dry from hundreds of windows of more common apartment buildings. And there are still Shanghaiese who travel on foot or via the metro or by motorbike or on bicycle instead of luxury car. I hope I can stave off the lows by regularly stepping off Nanjing Lu and exploring the streets behind the glitzy veneer. Nanjing Lu is Shanghai’s most well-known road, but it is not all there is to Shanghai.

The Wanderlust Diaries

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