Foreign Service

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Of Two Minds

It is really nice being in the United States. I cannot say I love studying Chinese (there are good days and not so good days), but I do enjoy being in Northern Virginia. Autumn is such a lovely time here. I missed autumn in Mexico. Contrary to what many people thought, it did get cold in Juarez, but there is no changing of the leaves, then crispness in the air and cool, drizzly days. It was really, really hot and then it was not quite so hot. It rained maybe five times a year and I did not even carry an umbrella.

So although recently it has been rainy and cool, even this self-confessed tropical weather chaser has liked it. I have even bought C her first rain coat and it made me ridiculously happy to do so.

I really like living in Herndon. We are very close to where I grew up. I regularly drive past the Pizza Hut I worked at the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of college. Across the street is the shopping center where the parents of one of my best friends in high school had their Chinese restaurant. C’s swim school is located in the same store space as the Hallmark my mom used to take my sisters and I to spend our allowance. In the same shopping center is the McDonald’s where they gave me a free small fries when I showed up in my Halloween costume (I dressed up as a bag of McDonald’s small fries!) There is also the Giant Food Store my best high school friend worked at for years. The shoe store where I had my first job is now a dry cleaner; the first pizza place I worked is now a Pollo Peru, but the reminders are still there.

I lived my whole childhood in the same place, in this area. Even Falls Church, which I drive through each day to and from the Foreign Service Institute, is not only where I lived when I last did my Foreign Service training, but where I lived with my aunt and uncle one summer in college. I love the Lost Dog and Stray Cat cafes. There is a wonderful park in Falls Church across from the library. I used to walk down there when I lived with my aunt and uncle. I feel my cheeks burn when I think about the time I made out with a boyfriend there. (And they are burning now) When living there 2011-2012 I picked up pregnancy books at the library and just a little way up the street a policeman at the town hall helped me install C’s first car seat.

Washington, DC too is close. As a child, I spent many a day at museums on the National Mall. I still remember the summer my dad worked at the Air and Space Museum and he took me to work one day. We visited the Smithsonian castle and the National Museum of American History many times. Yet the National Museum of Natural History was the runaway favorite, most especially the Egyptian mummies, the dinosaurs, and the live insect section. Later, as an adult, I lived in DC for four years and the Spy Museum, Newseum, and National Portrait Gallery became new favorites.

There are memories really on just about every corner; I have a history here.

I have found myself daydreaming about what it would be like to really live here again, not just to be here on a temporary basis while training at FSI. I try to puzzle out where I would like to live. In the heart of DC in a chic neighborhood like Eastern Market or Georgetown? Falls Church with its small town feel right outside of DC? Reston, in the area right around the pedestrian-friendly shopping center? Or right here in compact, convenient, and historical Herndon?

What really hits me is that C will not grow up in just one place. She will not really have a home town. She may or may not ride her bike around the neighborhood. It will depend on where we are living at the time – if it is the kind of place kids ride bicycles or not. It is highly unlikely her elementary school classmates will also be in her middle and high schools. She may attend as many as three or four elementary schools.

It is not a bad thing. It is only a different thing.

Yet, I find myself feeling wistful.

Then I think ahead to Shanghai. I have heard such good things about living there. I have already compiled a lengthy list of things for C and I to see and do, one for almost one-third of our 104 weekends. I can hardly wait for us to take a stroll along the famous Bund, possibly wearing matching pajamas. I look forward to taking C to the Wild Animal Park and the fantastic Ocean Aquarium. I see us taking in a show of the famous Shanghai Acrobatic Troupe. And finally the cherry on the top of my I-am-taking-my-Disney-loving-toddler-to-Shanghai sundae: Shanghai Disneyland is slated to open in late 2015.

I think of all the opportunities that C will have. She has already been to more countries by the age of two than many Americans will visit in their lifetimes. She will visit many of the finest places in the world, be they amazing cultural or natural sites, famous or not. She will meet and make friends with people from all over the world. Heck, by this time next year she will probably be speaking Chinese!

Although a single town or area will not have landmarks of her childhood, she will have such landmarks all over the world. That is amazing to think about.

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Learning Chinese and a Poopie Diaper

I have been struggling with how to portray how I feel about my return to the Foreign Language Institute for training to top up my very stale Mandarin Chinese. Perhaps my most difficult issue was how to explain how hard this has been for me without sounding like a majorly sad grump. Because I will tell you, I have had some majorly sad and grumpy days.

For example, I had my first tear-stained breakdown. Yep, it happened. Thankfully it did not occur in front of any of my colleagues but rather in front of a member of the Chinese Department staff as I tried to explain my very real fears that I will not pass the Chinese test in January. She was very kind and told me not to worry, which only made me suspect she has no idea how badly I speak Chinese.

I also threw a pen in class. I am not proud of it. I could not help but think later that it while it was probably too mild a throw to make it in to some kind of “Diplomats Behaving Badly” montage, it most certainly was not one of my finer moments. I certainly did not make a conscious decision to throw the pen but after feeling browbeaten to create one too many a Chinese sentence in a grammatical structure I simply did not understand with a limited vocabulary of half-remembered words and phrases learned as recently as 2002…and then having the teacher cut me off two words into my response, I had had it. And the pen launch sequence commenced.

One of my biggest struggles has been finding a time to study. I tried studying in the evenings as C watched a DVD and then after she went to bed. Firstly, you parents out there must be laughing your socks off imagining me trying to study with a toddler in the room. Yeah, it went about as well as you imagine. “Mommy, change DVD, change DVD, change DVD.” “Mommy, snack, snack, snack!” “Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy…” Secondly, my attempts at raising a jet setting night owl toddler have been too successful and I was too tired to do anything after she went to bed because it was also my bedtime.

Then I decided to wake up early in the morning, around 5 am, study until C woke up around 7:30, take her to child care and then drive on to the training institute for a little more study until class began at 10:40. Except on day one of this brilliant plan I woke up at 5:30 and I heard the sweet little call of “mommy?” at six.

@$&#

Plan #3 has been to wake up at 5:30, get C to daycare by 6:45, drive to the training institute, arriving around 7:35, then studying in the cafeteria until class at 10:40. I study again for at least an hour in between my morning class and afternoon class. I also listen to Chinese in the car either to or from the training institute. I downloaded some popular Chinese songs and language learning podcasts, burned the textbook and other dialogues to disc, and purchased the soundtrack to Frozen in Mandarin. We are expected at the very least to study for 8 hours a day including our 5 hours of classroom time. This schedule means I can generally manage to get those three extra hours in. This has been mildly successful, at least in relative terms.

Yet every single day I eat a huge helping of humble pie in class and continue to harbor serious doubts about my readiness to test in January.

This morning I set about to take C to swimming class (I have at least followed through with this ONE thing from my “back in the U.S. to-do list”). I got myself dressed and her dressed. I took us out to the car and buckled C into the car seat.

Then I realized I had forgotten my towel.

[Note: I did not bring towels the first day of swim class because I expected, for some reason, they would be provided, and had to run into the nearby supermarket to buy a set of hand towels. I felt like schmuck.]

So I unbuckled C from the car seat and walked back to the apartment to get the towel and then returned to the car and buckled her back in. Only to realize I had forgotten a spare diaper.

So I unbuckled C from the car seat and walked back to the apartment to get the extra diaper and then returned to the car and began to buckle her back in. Then I smelled something unfortunate. C needed a diaper change.

<sigh> I wanted to just pack it in. I wanted to just get C out of the car and give up on the swim class at least for today and maybe forever. There was even a millisecond there I considered I might never leave the apartment again. I took a deep breath and convinced myself to keep going.

So I unbuckled C from the car seat and returned to the apartment, changed her diaper, and then returned to the car and buckled her back in.

We were late for swim class.
But we still got there and were able to participate.

This week my Chinese study has been derailed several times.

Last weekend C had a fever of 102 all day Saturday and 103 most of Sunday. Instead of being a docile and very sleepy sick person she became an extremely demanding one. Not one minute of studying that weekend. <sigh>

I arranged for my parents to watch her on Monday instead of taking her to daycare, so I actually departed home at 9:20 that day, after some haphazard studying in the apartment that morning. <sigh>

Early Wednesday morning, C woke up and demanded food. I mean she literally sat bolt upright in bed at the witching hour of 3:40 am and said “FOOD!” and would not go back to sleep until she had had some “Dora snacks” and a juice. So I let her sleep in a little and departed for daycare at 8 am. Then on the way to the daycare center that morning the low air light came on for my tires. I stopped to have them checked and every single one of them was low. <sigh>

On Thursday C woke up in the middle of the night upset, the fever was back. I gave her medicine but could not get back to sleep as I had developed a terrible stomach ache. So I called in sick and took C to the doctor. I imagined I might get a little studying done but again C would not nap, was extremely demanding, and, as an extra fun bonus, shoved an edamame bean up her nose in the afternoon. <sigh>

Right now I am feeling the best I have about Chinese in the four weeks I have been studying. I have no idea why.

On the drive back from swimming class today I thought the whole episode summed up how I feel I prepare for Chinese every day – shit happens but I AM trying.

That’s all I can do. 

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Nation’s Tri: The Third Wheel

I belong to a global running group, a community of Foreign Service people who try to take their running on the road, wherever they happen to be. They may be trying to fit in runs in baking hot UAE summers (where you run after sunset when it’s a “cool” 105 degrees) or try to make friends with the treadmill when in places where running outside is verboten or make unexpected stops in locales where herds of animals may cross their path. We are a dedicated bunch of crazy runners. Not necessarily fast runners – though we do have a few who place in their respective races – but committed.

Waaaaaaay back in February or March of this year I responded to a post on our group page asking for a person to run the 10k portion in a triathlon team to take place September 7 in Washington, DC. Yeah THAT September 7, you know, the first Sunday back in the DC area after a whirlwind 60 days of home leave and my first week of Chinese training.

So it seemed like a GREAT idea! I could use it to jump start my running when back in Northern Virginia. This couple, whom I had never met, also would have just moved to DC for training the weekend before. It was PERFECT, right? I mean, that’s the word springing to your mind too, I’m sure! I replied immediately. Pick me! Pick me PLEASE! And they did.

Fast forward six months or so… I have run a half marathon in South Dakota a few weeks before, yet it already feels much longer. I am stressed and tired about the start of language training. I book a hotel in DC for the Saturday night – yes, a hotel away from my hotel, because the logistics of getting up at the butt crack of dawn to drive to DC and try to find parking seemed too daunting. My mom stays with myself and C because I have yet to spend a night away from her and I am determined not to have the first night be for this triathlon. My ulcerative colitis continues to plague me and this 10k runs through urban DC (as opposed to a heavily forested canyon in SD), i.e. few if any trees to hide behind should my UC make a pit stop necessary. I have not met this couple I’m running with. Hmmm…this seems a little less perfect than I originally thought.

Thankfully meeting up with my Tri mates proves easy. Though completely unplanned, we find each other the first day at the Foreign Service Institute. We run into each other unplanned each day after that. Even at the packet pick up we find each other at the hotel entrance without arranging a thing. It was rather uncanny.

It is a very good thing we had that going for us because the organization of the packet pick up and staging areas left much to be desired. Racers arriving to pick up packets with their bicycles are turned away as bicycles are not allowed in the hotel (at a triathlon?!). Volunteers at the event appear unable to answer questions. Our cyclist rides his bike down to the transition area to set up only to be stranded down there as the returning shuttles to the hotel stop at 6 pm, although the website and expo announcements say they will run until 7 pm. Then the skies open up and rain pours down. We decide to eat dinner at our respective hotels and meet up the following morning for the next to last shuttle for the start line, departing at 6 am.

That night my mother – a dear woman who agreed to watch Chloe while I run – snores with the force of a fog horn.  (I am sorry mom, you have been outed on Facebook and now in my blog) She tried not to, I’ll give her that. She brought a nose strip, yet it did nothing to stem the tide; I could not sleep. Around midnight, desperate to get some zzzzzs I had an epiphany. I then dragged a pillow and a comforter into the bathroom and set up bed in the bathtub. Yes, the bathtub. Surprisingly, I slept pretty well (I am 5’5” if you are wondering).

I awoke to the news that the swim portion of the race had been cancelled due to a sewage spill into the Potomac River resulting from the previous evening’s heavy rain. After wrenching myself from my bathtub cocoon I head over to the race hotel across the street at a quarter to six. Unfortunately, disorganization continued. Despite being on the next to last shuttle, departing the hotel at six am with the race not starting until 7:15, the bus could not drop participants at the actual start location, just nearby. At the event emcees announced that the “swimmers” would still run into the transition area barefoot. Unfortunately for many relay participants, this was not announced on the website along with the cancellation of the swim portion and some had simply not shown up. Our swimmer was in a dress – albeit a sporty one – and so lined up barefoot with the other “swimmers” to run 500 yards to pass off the timing piece to our cyclist.

Cyclist and I receive conflicting information as to how to reach the hand-off area. One volunteer told us to head in one direction where we met another volunteer who told us to go back where we had come from. We finally just went around both of them, the long way, to find the place, where we waited. And waited. And waited. Though the event started at 7:15, our “swimmer” did not begin her swim-run until 8:23! She was in wave 23, yet between each numbered wave there was also a “named” wave. The first cyclists had returned before 8:15.

At least the weather was perfect for cycling and running. It was cool and overcast – completely different from the near 90 degree and sunny weather of the day before. Still, I had been waiting around to run since 6:15 and with the breeze I felt a little chilled; it was a relief to finally start running around 9:45. Then suddenly, it was all alright. The course was well marked and the volunteers prepared. I ran slowly, without music, my mind occupied with many memories of my previous life in DC. I have run many times in West Potomac Park along Haines Point. I looked across the Potomac to Fort McNair, where I worked as a Research Fellow at the Institute for National Strategic Studies. Across the Potomac in another direction stands Bolling Air Force Base, where I also worked as a defense analyst. The course also covered streets where I trained for and ran the Marine Corps Marathon, my one full marathon to date. I had missed DC.

All in all, I am glad I participated, though I have decided I will not run more races in DC this brief time we are here, and possibly no other races at all after my half in early October. The time is just too short and the logistics for race participation a little too complicated. As a single parent studying Mandarin Chinese in preparation to work in Shanghai starting early next year, I only have so many hours in the day, only so much free time in a week. I need to recognize my limitations.

Hey, and I did it! Right? In the end I think the best part of it was meeting this other Foreign Service couple, also with a young daughter, serving their country, living abroad, and with a passion for running (and swimming and biking) wherever they happen to be.

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Back to School

I am too old for this.

We are told in our language school orientation at the Foreign Service Institute NOT to think this way. We should have an open mind. We should be accepting of everyone’s learning style and pace, including our own. We are reminded this is our job right now. Not only are we being paid to learn a language but the government is investing a lot of money in us to do so. The State Department is counting on us to learn our respective languages to help the United States achieve its diplomatic goals.

But geez, I feel too old for this.

I know I am intelligent and I can do this. I have learned languages before: Spanish, Chinese, Indonesian, Japanese, Korean, and Tagalog. The former three I learned over time and sporadically in long formal classes; the latter three with informal classes and living in country. And yes, you did read Chinese. So not only am I proven to learn a language but I am proven to learn THIS language.

On the first day the highlight of orientation for me was when a woman from the testing unit announced, in a hilarious and inspired presentation, that the test would henceforth be changed. No longer would we be required to speak at length on topics such as nuclear nonproliferation, Congressional term limits, or global warming and yet be unable to buy groceries or conduct visa interviews when we touchdown in our respective countries. In Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, I long waited for the when after approving or denying a visa the applicant would then turn to me and say, well, now that is done, could you tell me your thoughts on labor unions? Needless to say, that day never arrived. A collective sigh and inward cheer was palpably felt throughout the orientation room. The word is that we will actually be tested on conversations related to ourselves, life in our destination country, and our actual jobs. This is thrilling news.

The classes thus far have been great. The Chinese department has developed a class specifically geared toward those of us who have had Chinese in the past. Currently there are 14 of us in this program. I appreciate this immensely as I was in a similar situation when I studied Spanish and the department initially accommodated four of us with our own class. Then after four weeks we were scattered to the wind, placed in other classes, and any advantage we may have had was lost.

The class times fly by. When the teacher tells us to take a 10 minute break or he/she will see us next time, I am surprised. I have had just a few times in class where I felt too much on the spot, but my classmates and the teachers are supportive. Preparation is key though, and I am going to have to step things up.

I have run the gamut of language learning emotions this week. I have felt inspired and insecure. I have felt confident and uncertain. I have felt committed and flustered. I have been energized and exhausted. It has only been four days.

Lots of people would be thrilled to switch places with me; I am being paid to study a foreign language. I completely understand; it’s an incredible benefit and opportunity. I recognize that intrinsically. But studying a language is HARD y’all! I know at some point in the next 20 weeks I will cry as a result of trying to cram Mandarin into my brain, and remove the Spanish that now resides there. I may cry more than once. I am hoping to avoid doing this in front of others as it is not considered a great diplomatic skill to burst into tears.

I try to give myself a pep talk. “Look, last time you were here studying you were pregnant, had the baby, and then had a newborn. And you did it! You rock!”

“That’s all true. I do rock. Wait; now I have a toddler…I cannot see how that is going to make studying any easier.” As expected, C is already proving a formidable obstacle to my language learning.

It is very important I realize this process is not easy for anyone and that everyone has things going on in their lives while trying to study a foreign language. I remember 2-3 years ago while studying Spanish pregnant and then as a single mom of a newborn; I was SO tired. Yet one day I saw a woman, pregnant AND on crutches, studying a foreign language. And about a week later I met a woman on the shuttle bus who was pregnant, had a small child, her husband still at their previous post, AND undergoing chemotherapy, studying a foreign language. Yeah, I try to remember those women and their fortitude when I am feeling sorry for myself. I also try to remember that for everyone that was visibly struggling with something there are those struggling and juggling things not readily apparent. Just like me.

One week down, eighteen to go.* Hopefully I am not too too old for this.

 

 

*turns out unlike during my Spanish training, the Christmas week off is not being counted as part of our training time this go around. Yay!

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Temporarily Permanent

In my last installment of my home leave epic my 2 ½ year old toddler C posed this question to me “Where is home?”

Good question sweetheart.

I am not sure what concept of “home” C may have though it felt different from her earlier requests to “go to hotel.” What sense of permanence does such a young person have considering their age and that in the previous 9 weeks we stayed in a total of 15 different hotels and five different homes of friends and/or family? Was she tired of moving? I cannot really say, but I know that as much as I enjoyed my Home Leave, towards the end I certainly craved something more permanent.

Now here we are in Herndon, Virginia, moving into an extended stay hotel. Right, a hotel, but it will be our home for the next 21 weeks (and just 21 weeks provided I pass my first Chinese test…Please let me pass it, please. End fervent prayer).

21 weeks.

Most people would not find this a particularly long time. It isn’t really. When I break it down and think about how much Mandarin Chinese I have to cram into my brain in such a period I panic at its incredible briefness. And yet, at the same time it feels luxuriously lengthy.

I can buy food. Lots of it. You know, like salt and pepper and sugar and soy sauce and butter and grapeseed oil for cooking. And peanut butter. And salad dressing. And eggs. And Claussen Kosher Dill Spears. And cheese. Lots of cheese. Because, you know, I have a fridge. And Q-tips and shampoo and conditioner and saran wrap and dishwashing soap because this is more than just a way station. I even bought multivitamins, so you know I mean business.

I spent nearly $275 my first trip to the store. That is just the beginning. I probably bought only half the things I wanted. This is one of the reasons per diem is so much higher at the beginning because starting from scratch is not cheap.

21 weeks.

I have so many plans!

I plan to run. I am thinking an average of 10 miles a week. On actual running trails. Surrounded by trees and stuff. I might even run with other people and I do not mean running near people in a big race but actually running with them. The novelty. Go big or go home, you know? Or, er, go big or go elsewhere when home is a frequently shifting concept. I am already signed up for a 10K the first weekend of September. That would be next weekend, yes. I also have a half marathon on the schedule in October.

I have so many plans for C. I want to take her to the National Zoo, the National Children’s Museum, and the Udva- Hazy Center of the National Air and Space Museum. I want to take her to carousels in the area at Glen Echo Park and Clemyjontri Parks. I want to take her to the Frying Pan Farm Park and the Reston Zoo as these are places I visited when I was a little girl. I want to take her to Cox Farms Fall Festival because I took my niece a few years ago and we stayed for HOURS. I want to sign her up for toddler and mommy swim classes. Also her cousins, one of which is just 4 months older, live just 4 miles away from our hotel home. My parents live 6 miles away. I want C to spend time with her family before we head to China.

I also want to catch up with friends in the area. Many are back in the area for training of their and some of my closest friends are assigned to Washington, DC right now. It is not often so many of them are in one geographic area so I want to take advantage.
Somewhere in all of that there is this HUGE thing I am supposed to be doing. I am being PAID to do: Studying Mandarin Chinese.

When I think about studying Chinese the 21 weeks feel so very, very short. The first week is only 4 days and the first day is orientation, so really only 3 days. So, it’s 20 ½ weeks. But Columbus Day, Veteran’s Day and Thanksgiving take away those 3 days. So it is just 20 weeks. My 21st week is supposed to be my week of packing out for Shanghai and taking care of last minute details and possibly meeting with relevant offices in DC. So it is just 19 weeks. But the teachers of FSI are actually on leave the two weeks of Christmas and New Year’s, so it is really just 17 weeks. Seventeen weeks of classroom instruction. A regular course of Chinese is 44 weeks. Panic sets in.  It is not enough time!

So I have 21 weeks to do it all in. That’s a lot. And a little. We are at least “home,” for the time being.

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NY: The Final Frontier (Sixth and Final Phase of Home Leave 2014)

We ended our vomit-free home leave streak the same day as my toddler asked me “Where’s home?” These might be two clear signs that it is time to bring home leave to a close.

Our trip to NY was primarily about visiting family and friends with a side trip to Niagara Falls (because who could resist?).

The night before beginning our Sixth Phase we arrived at my sister’s place after midnight but were up the following day and on the road to western New York by 11 am. We were on our way to visit C’s dad and paternal grandparents who live on the  Allegany Indian Reservation. C’s grandfather is a member of the Seneca Nation, one of the six nations of the Iroquois Confederacy. C is 1/16 Seneca Indian, though as its matrilineal, neither she nor her father are members. Though C is not a member of the tribe and therefore will not receive annuity checks or qualify for scholarships, I still find knowing this part of her genealogy interesting.

I convinced her dad to go to Midway State Park where, yes, you may have guessed it, there is a carousel. The park dates from 1898 and therefore is one of the oldest continually operating amusement parks in the United States. So it is on the National Register of Historic Places. I’ll be truthful; it looked a bit neglected, there were not many people there. Yet C doesn’t give a hoot if a place is popular or not, as long as there are fun things for her to do. She enjoyed the 1948 Herschell carousel and other kiddie rides.

After visiting her dad, we then headed to Niagara Falls. Wow. Just wow. The Falls are another place I have long wanted to visit. I took C on the Maid of the Mist boat trip though I had had some reservations about standing on a crowded slippery deck with everyone wearing the same blue ponchos. Still the ride is just 20 minutes total, which is just about as much time as a toddler (or her mom carrying her) can stand. We skipped the Cave of the Winds as I had heard it was definitely not the kind of place to take a real little one (read: wide “safety” bars with plenty of space for intrepid, independent toddlers to slip through = one of mommy’s greatest nightmares). I was so glad we took the Maid of the Mist ride soon after arrival on Friday as the weather was bright and clear and warm (i.e. perfect) and there was almost no wait to board. The following day it was overcast and the crowds were in force (the next to last Saturday of summer). C also woke with a fever.

Since C was not feeling 100% we took it easy the second day, though she still insisted we go “see fish,” so we did head out for a trolley ride to the Niagara Aquarium. I would not give the aquarium a good rating as it was really, really small. Still C liked the seal and sea lion and spent all her time just watching them, so whatever, she was happy.

I also indulged my new carousel obsession and drove to North Tonawanda, New York, just 20 minutes from Niagara to visit the Allan Herschell Carousel Factory Museum. Yeah. Can you believe it? Until San Francisco I liked carousels, but now I am finding them EVERYWHERE! The Factory Museum is also on the National Register of Historic Places and, naturally, includes an antique Herschell Carousel, from 1916. C rallied long enough to ride once around and some of the other kiddie rides. She even allowed me about 30 minutes to browse through the museum part.

Then we visited historic Fort Niagara, another State Park. Unfortunately C was much less keen, so we did not have much time there. It is located at a beautiful spot at the mouth of the Niagara River and Lake Ontario and is also listed on the U.S. National Register of Historic Places and a National Historic Landmark (two for one!). On the way back to our hotel we stopped at the Whirlpool State Park, to view the large swirling waters of the Niagara River as they churn downstream from the falls and watch the Aero Car cross perilously above the whirlpool on the Canadian side. As it was Home Leave we stayed entirely on the U.S. side, but I would love to return and spend some time across the border.

Next on the docket was a visit to Rochester to visit two friends of mine – one RH, I have known since she was 7 or 8 years old (I used to be her babysitter!) and the other MF is a friend from Indonesia who is studying for her Masters at the Rochester Institute of Technology. I have been looking forward to seeing these ladies for a long time. RH has two children of her own and although they are 5 and 13 years old, C bonded with them almost immediately. She ran to the younger boy, arms outstretched, as if she had known him a long time. Still, by the time we left she seemed more attached to the older child. While in Rochester we visited the Ontario Beach Park for a little time on the playground and several spins on the 1905 Dentzel carousel (!) and also visited the amazing Strong Museum of Play, rated as one of the country’s top children’s museum. Two and a half hours there (including lunch is the fabulous café in a 50s diner car located in the front atrium) gave us only a little time to scratch the surface. Just before we left we did have enough time to ride the 1918 Herschell carousel, also in the atrium.

Our final stop was Hamilton, NY where I met my cousin MK and her two kids. Or rather she is the cousin of my cousin and her kids the 2nd cousins once removed of my cousin, which makes them C’s 2nd cousins of her 2nd cousins. Following? It took me awhile to work that out in my head. For simplicity sake MK and I are going to be “CC’s” and the kids will be CC’s squared. We just enjoyed getting to know each other, including a fabulous home cooked dinner that included MK’s parents. MK lives just outside Hamilton, the location of Colgate University, on a lovely hill with a breathtaking summer view of the central New York countryside.

On our way home from Hamilton we stopped in Broome County, NY where six antique Herschell carousels are located. It is the only such place in the US where so many such carousels are concentrated and they are FREE for everyone to ride. I thought we might first just visit one or two, but once I learned that if we collected a card at each location we would earn a button at the end, I was committed. http://gobroomecounty.com/files/countyexec/GBVC%20Carousel%20Guide.pdf

And so ended the super amazing Home Leave 2014 adventure.

The Stats:
Total days: 60
Number of books finished: 10
Number of Children’s Museums visited: 5
Number of carousels ridden: 17
Miles Driven: Just over 5,000
Miles Flown: 15, 101
Miles Run: 62.2
Total number of States visited: 12
(TX, LA, MS, AL, TN, VA, HI, NC, CA, SD, WY, NY; 14 if you count driving through MD and PA to get to NY)

One EPIC Home Leave complete!

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South Again (or Home Leave 2014 Phase Three)

Driving south from northern Virginia, as I begin the third phase of my home leave, I feel, I don’t know… The word that comes to me is decadent. It has been nearly four weeks since I departed Ciudad Juarez. Four weeks since I stopped adjudicating visas and, well, let’s be frank, since I have not been working. I have had the fabulous opportunity to travel for weeks, even months, at a time in the past. For example, after I finished my three years teaching in Japan and before starting grad school or during breaks in graduate school. But I have not taken this kind of time to travel in the United States. I sort of feel, well, guilty.

I have to remind myself I earned this time off. This time off is mandated by CONGRESS. It is OK.

Yet, I still find myself thinking more about the fall, the language class that awaits me. The language class I am sort of dreading. I think about how home leave is not exactly easy. I know, I know. How many other people will have eight weeks of paid leave this year? Not many. I do not mean it is hard in the sense that I am having a miserable time. Gosh, no. However, it does, at least to me, feel a bit strange. I am itinerant, roving, nomadic. I almost want to be in language class, moving into my temporary quarters for five months, because it is for five whole months! It is easier to buy groceries when you are in one place for five months instead of five days. C is a champion. I could not be more proud that my daughter is taking this in such stride, that she is such a good traveler. But yeah, sometimes I feel guilty about that too.

Our drive destination: New Bern, North Carolina. Before I started plotting out my home leave I had never heard of New Bern. However, my long-time friend CZ had moved to the town about six months before. She was due to have her first child in May and I wanted to spend a week hanging out with her. As I looked online for things to see and do on our visit, I discovered there is quite a lot to New Bern.

New Bern was settled in 1710 by Swiss and German Palatine immigrants and is named for Bern, Switzerland. It is the second oldest European-American colony in North Carolina and served as both the capital of the colony (from 1747) and the state (from 1789) until it was moved to Raleigh in 1794. The 1770 Tyron Palace that served as the governor’s residence was reconstructed in 1959 and is the historic center of the town. Having attended the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, Virginia, I felt an affinity for New Bern. Williamsburg too was one of the first settlements in the state and also served as both the colony and, briefly, the state capital. Williamsburg too has a governor’s palace.

New Bern is also the birthplace of Pepsi, first invented as “Brad’s Drink” in 1893, the inventor renamed it Pepsi Cola in 1898. The original pharmacy where Caleb Bradham sold his digestion drink still stands at the corner of Middle and Pollock Streets downtown.

Additionally New Bern is also the location of the state’s oldest chartered fire department, which is also one of the nation’s oldest.
Turns out Nicholas Sparks is also a long time New Bern resident and set several of his books in or around the town, including The Notebook.
I could hardly believe I had never heard of this town! This is the beauty of home leave – the opportunity to spend time in some of the unique, beautiful, and historical places in our large and diverse country.

We visited Tryon Palace, the North Carolina History Center, the Firemen’s Museum, took the historic trolley tour and visited the Birthplace of Pepsi. Do not give me too much credit; these were toddler-driven tours. So for example, I would have loved to visit the inside of Tryon Palace. Unfortunately that is only by guided tour, lasting 45 minutes. Yeah… The woman at the North Carolina History Center ticket counter suggested we watch the eight minute long orientation video first, as many people decide if they will get the interior palace tour after watching the film. C and I walked into the film room and in less than a minute C began repeating “No movie, no movie, no movie…” So I had my answer. If I could not watch an eight minute film with her, then there was no way we would survive a 45 minute guided tour! So instead C allowed me approximately 30 minutes to circle the palace via the gardens. The 90 minute trolley tour was only possible through the magic of iPad videos. And still I missed the two stops at the historic Cedar Grove Cemetery and Christ Episcopal Church as a certain toddler in my care wanted nothing to do with them.
Yet we easily spent 45 minutes to an hour at the Birthplace of Pepsi, which is a small space including a soda fountain area where Bradham’s original pharmacy once stood and an area with Pepsi souvenirs. This is no World of Coke. But C savored her first ice cream float, one spoonful at a time.

We also went to the Aquatic Center to swim and spent the day at Atlantic Beach. We hung out with CZ at her home, C playing in the backyard pool with another friend’s son. We went out on the Trent River in CZ’s sister’s boat with her sister, brother in law, nephew, and boyfriend and saw Nicholas Spark’s home while snacking and swimming. Well, CZ swam with C as I am not keen on swimming places where the water is not clear.
It was a fantastic week.

And now I am preparing for Home Leave Phase Four. One month down and still a month to go!

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The Not-So-Normal (or My Experience with the Virginia DMV)

I was going to take a few days off from writing when this morning I did something that prompted me to reconsider:
I took my car to get its Virginia Safety Inspection.

That probably does not sound like much, but here is the thing: this is the first time I have ever done it!

I am not one to blurt out my age but suffice to say I am no spring chicken. I would expect most Americans my age would have done this a dozen times or more in their adult lives. Yet here I am doing this for the very first time. I was so nervous! I tossed and turned the night before worrying about it. My aunt accompanied me to the inspection center. I could not focus I was so nervous and excited on the way there and while waiting. Also when I paid, the cashier gave me a strange look and repeated “This is YOUR first time?” Clearly he was doubtful.

Look, I grew up in suburban Virginia, right outside of Washington, DC. We did not move around. I did the things most suburban kids do. However, as an adult, I have spent 12 years outside of the United States. Only the last two have been with the State Department. I studied for a summer and semester in China in college. I taught English in Korea for a year. I taught English in Japan for three years. I spent a semester studying and volunteering in Manila. I spent a year backpacking through Europe and Asia. I spent twelve months pursuing a Masters Degree in Singapore with two months before and two months after backpacking abroad. Three months studying in Yogyakarta and later two and a half years working for Defense in Jakarta, Indonesia. So I missed out on activities like watching Friends before it was in re-runs and having my car inspected.

Besides being nervous about doing something bureaucratically important for the first time I had two more reasons to be concerned: childhood memory and my unfortunate recent experiences with the Virginia DMV.

My aunt told me it was an easy enough process but as a child I watched my father have his vehicles rejected by the safety inspector again and again. There was the VW bug that was missing the floor on the front passenger side. I remember him driving me to dance class watching my legs dangle over the empty space as we bumped over the gravel road. Also the Datsun, whose starting system he rigged with a creative button that my mom had to use two hands to start. The Dodge Caravan, whose dented bumper and side he corrected with duct tape. After all both the duct tape and the car were silver. The VW bus my mom had to slow down, but not stop, to let us out at Middle School. I remember many a day sitting sweltering by the side of the road awaiting repairs or the times I had to, as the oldest child, get out of the car and push.

So there was that….

And also the drama the Virginia DMV put me through during my time in Mexico. It’s a long story that I will try to explain, because I think it sheds light on some of the problems Foreign Service Officers go through.

When I purchased my car in September 2011 I contacted State Farm for insurance. I told them from the get go I would be moving to Ciudad Juarez, Mexico the following year, approximately nine months later. I asked if they would cover me in Mexico. I was told “No problem.” A few months before departure, I stopped by the office and spoke with the head agent. I was again informed there would be no problem. About a week before departure I called and let them know the departure was imminent. It took some checking, but again I was reassured – we got you covered. Then just hours before I am to start driving to Mexico the office calls and tells me, hey, I see you are moving to Mexico. There is NO WAY we can cover you. My initial response could not be called diplomatic, but I stopped by the office, spoke with someone else, and once again was told, yeah, we have an office in El Paso with a Mexican Team. I’ll send your information there–no problem.

A concurrent issue that happened was my change in address. When I first returned from Indonesia, I was placed in Oakwood Falls Church housing, a common place for new and seasoned officers and their families to be housed during training. Unfortunately, I was assigned an un-renovated apartment. Though, I was informed at check in this would not be an issue, four months later and six months pregnant, I was required to move down the hall to another, already renovated apartment. Two months after that I had to move out of that apartment after giving birth, as I had been informed State would not cover my housing (that turned out to be incorrect, but discovered long after it would have helped me). Six weeks after that I moved back to Oakwood. Four months after that I moved to Mexico. I filled out a forwarding address form with the post office…

I then find myself in Juarez and the State Farm office in El Paso ducks my calls and an in-office visit for a few weeks before admitting they cannot cover me. So I purchase a Mexican insurance policy through a much-used international insurance company that also covers me temporarily, up to 90 days in the US. I think all is well…

Until I contact the Virginia DMV in February 2013 to enquire how to renew my registration/tags from my location (I still have Virginia plates as we live on the border and cross frequently). I am told, “No problem, you can do that online; however, we must inform you your license has been suspended.” What?! Turns out that because the DMV contacted me for insurance information and I did not respond within the allotted time I am now suspended, face a $145 reinstatement fee and a possible $500 fine.

I am stunned. I call. I fax in my travel orders, a copy of my diplomatic passport and visa, my Mexican diplomatic card, and my insurance documents. No dice. Though my vehicle is not garaged in or driven in Virginia, my insurance does not meet Virginia requirements. The fees and fine stand. I appeal. During my appeal process my license is reinstated and I register my tags. In late October, I receive notification that my telephone hearing has been scheduled. Failure to take part results in a reinstatement of my suspension and the fees. The date of my hearing? One week BEFORE I received the notification! I am stunned yet again. I call. They put together a hearing right then and there. I am asked questions for approximately 30 minutes and then fax in all the previous documentation again. I am told to wait 3-4 weeks as the result of the hearing will be mailed to me…

I win!

After 11 or 16 months, depending on when you decide my ordeal began, I am through it and I have won. Yippee!
Given all of this, I think you would understand why I approach dealing with any and all Virginia Department of Motor Vehicle issues with extreme trepidation.

I cannot begin to tell you the immense relief I felt when my car passed the inspection with flying colors! No driving around with my 8/2012 sticker waiting for a ticket, no expensive repairs. Whew!

I have now completed my first Virginia vehicle safety inspection! Six months from now I will sell the car and we move back overseas and I do not know next when I will own a car. Such is the life of a Foreign Service Officer!

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Am I Still on this Crazy Drive? (Home Leave Phase One Part Two)

Day 7 of my travel from post / home leave began with a drive from Natchitoches, Louisiana to Jackson, Mississippi. I think I made a very wise choice in changing my route from the original seven hour drive to Orange Beach, Alabama to the four hour drive to Jackson. Again, I am shaking my head. What was I thinking? Within minutes of starting the drive the cats were mewing again and after an hour on the road my sweet little toddler was asking “hotel?” There goes my mother of the year award.

Yet even for me four hours on the road felt too long. Good thing I at least knew this would happen and started scheduling in more than one night at each stop for us all to recharge. The drive along some back roads and then I-20 to Jackson had little to occupy my attention with the exception of the unanticipated bear crossing sign (bears? In Mississippi? I would never have thought!) and driving over the Mississippi River. I tried to point out the river to C, but at 2 ½ she cannot see much out the window and just does not get excited about things like the fourth largest river in the world. Gosh, I remember taking a cross-country Amtrak trip from Pittsburgh to Los Angeles with my mom, an aunt and cousin, and two sisters when I was eleven years old. Crossing the Mississippi, going through a tunnel in the Rockies, and the 30-minute stop in Albuquerque to wash the train, were the major highlights.

I so wanted to stop at Vicksburg, Mississippi to at least see the National Military Park. After all, this is what home leave is for, right? It is not just to reacquaint ourselves with our country but to see and learn more of its amazing history and culture. I am seeing a lot of the highway system, which to be honest, is certainly part of our society and customs—our love of the automobile and being on the open road. Right? Or so I tell myself as I pass by exits with enticing signage of things I would like to stop and see but just cannot do so with the cats or even with C.

To be honest I also hate having the junky car – the one with the visible piles of crap on the front and back seats. As the daughter of pack rat parents, whose habits extend to their cars, I have tried very hard to keep my car clean and stuff-free. However, it simply was unobtainable for this trip. Oh, how I envy those childless, pet-less, single people driving out of Juarez in their SUVs… I know, I know. I am the one who adopted my two kitties from the mean streets of Jakarta and brought them to Juarez. I am the one who had the adorable child. I am the one who bought the high re-sale value nondescript Honda Civic… No one forced me.

We make good time to Jackson. No sooner have I checked into the hotel and unpacked the car, when I turn around and take C to the Mississippi Children’s Museum, where we spend THREE hours having a blast. This is hands down one of the best children’s museums I have been to and we have now been to them in Indianapolis, Boston, Santa Fe, and Houston. Though both of those in Houston and Boston made Forbes’ top 12 best children’s museums in the US, I think they may have made a mistake not including this one in Jackson. I am reinstated to the Mother of the Year award competition.

Day 8 is another of those days when I miss out on historical sites that tug at my brain strings. Both the Old Capitol Museum and the Eudora Welty home call out to me. Though there is no way C will remain patient through a by-guided-tour-only visit to Welty’s home, the Old Capitol Museum might be a possibility. Except it is a Monday and both places are closed so the decision is made. I briefly flirt with the idea of making an early morning dash to the Old Capitol on Tuesday before returning to en-cage the cats and hit the road, but realize this is another of my delirious moments and let it go. Instead I take my daughter to the Natural Science Museum, where we still enjoy an hour and a half of fun, and then we finally have some pool time at the hotel and I wisely wash a load of laundry.

Day 9 began with the knowledge that Cat One and Cat Two had each chosen a separate mattress base to hide in. Yet the evening before, as I snuggled in bed with my daughter, I felt incredibly blessed to have this time to spend with her. It’s like one extended sleepover. So I pick up those mattress bases and shake out those kitties with the best attitude I can muster. I choose to see it as my morning workout. Also, although the drive was longer, I did rather enjoy it. I was thinking wow, our highway system really is extraordinary.

I drive to Albertville, Alabama. I wanted to stop at Gadsden, Alabama to visit the Noccalula Falls Park, which I had found on a list of top ten places to visit in Alabama. Unfortunately, there were no hotels in Gadsden available (that accept pets) so Albertville was the closest I could get. Though tired when I arrived at the hotel at 3:00, I mustered the energy after unpacking the car and getting the cats settled to get C and I back in the car and drive back to Noccalula. I was glad I did. The falls and the park are quite nice and my daughter had a great time on the little train and at the petting zoo.

Day 10. Oh man, here I am driving again. This time from Albertville to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. This time the four plus hour drive feels a little harder – easier enough to diagnose since I had not had a day of rest. I really notice the greenery surrounding the highways. It has been green for days, but it particularly strikes me today. After living in the desert for two years, though I found it beautiful, I also often felt starved for color, especially green. It is otherwise an unremarkable drive until I hit sudden and grindingly slow traffic just miles from our destination. We have arrived at one of the most popular summer destinations in the East, what seems like a cross between Ocean City (without the beach or boardwalk) and Las Vegas (without the strip clogged with pedestrians carrying gallon sized alcoholic beverages). I am informed by friends on Facebook I have reached a hub in the “Redneck Riviera.”

I am a HUGE fan of aquariums and have probably visited 50 or so all over the world. I had thought I would visit the following day, but I found out Ripley’s Aquarium of the Smokies is open until 9 or 10 pm during the summer. So, although tired, I do rally after a rest at the hotel and take my daughter over to Gatlinburg to see the fish. She is thrilled; yelling “Fish! Fish!” in the car.

Day 11. We head to Ober Gaitlinburg, the mountain-top playground accessibly by a large tramway or a curvy road. The day is all about C. I buy tickets for unlimited rides on the Carousel and other kiddy rides, which she takes very, very seriously. Seventeen times total on the rides as well as at least half an hour on the playground! I am so exhausted when we get back that I take a nap as well.

And then I received a rather extraordinary message from C’s paternal grandmother. She tells me that her and her husband happen to be in Sevierville, just down the road, for a wedding this weekend. I immediately message her back and ask if they have had dinner and want to get together. This is so amazing. I kept my route home close hold because I knew it could change – and it did. I also had no idea her paternal grandparents would be in this area. We only met them in person once, last summer. They let me know they are up for dinner and text me the restaurant, which also coincidentally happens to be one right behind our hotel! It was a really nice dinner and my heart felt so full seeing C and her grandparents interact with one another.

Day 12. The plan for this day was “Mommy’s Day” since the day before was all about C. I wanted to visit the Old Mill and also take an auto tour of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park. A friend had recommended the Cades Cove loop drive. It sounded lovely. Yet by afternoon everything from all the days of driving and sightseeing caught up with me. C fell asleep in the car as we drove to the Great Smoky Mountains visitor center on the road to Cades Cove. The parking lot at the Visitor’s Center was swarmed. As I parked the car in the extension of the extension lot I just could not muster the energy to get out of the car, rouse C from her seat and carry her leaden 28 pounds in my arms to get information. Though I wanted very much to see the park, I wanted a nap far, far more. The nap won.

I reminded myself yet again this is a drive. This is a trip to get us, the cats, and a bunch of stuff from Point A to Point B with some rest time and maybe, just maybe, a chance to see and do some things other than driving along the way. I had more than succeeded on this score. We were able to see the Old Mill and C’s grandparents again that evening for about an hour.

Day 13. Eight hours in the car to finally arrive in Winchester, Virginia to stay with my aunt and uncle for a few days. Finally, staying in a home and not a hotel. Though we still have 50 more miles to arrive at our actual home leave destination but I consider the drive done.

Total Drive: Six States. Eight Stops. 2,221 Miles. $246.67 in gas. One audio book finished. One Kindle book started. No one threw up in the car. Phase One of Home Leave 2014 completed. Success!

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Me, Two Cats, and a Toddler (Home Leave 2014, Phase One)

I think I might be crazy. In the last few months of my posting in Juarez, when I would envision myself getting on to I-10 East and just going, this was not quite how I fantasized it would be. In my imagination I did not have two mewing cats in the back seat, the car was not crammed full of my poorly organized stuff, and I was neither worrying my toddler was going to throw up nor singing “Old MacDonald” for the umpteenth time.

Home Leave, it’s an amazing and strange gift. Straight from the Foreign Affairs Manual (FAM), home leave is a Congress-mandated leave “to ensure that employees who live abroad for an extended period undergo reorientation and re-exposure in the United States on a regular basis.” Basically, it is an opportunity to be reacquainted with the country we serve. We earn 15 days of Home Leave per year and one has to serve at least 18 months overseas in order to use it. The minimum amount of Home Leave is 20 days, the maximum 45, and that does not include weekends. There are other regulations associated with it, but that is the gist of it. And yes, we are still receiving our paycheck while on Home Leave. Pretty sweet, huh? All you have to do is sign up for worldwide availability (the willingness to be posted to any country in the world we have a mission) and move every 2-3 years.

I do admit it is one of the perks of the Foreign Service. Yet many of us do not actually have homes in the U.S. and for those that do, most have renters they cannot just kick out during that 1-2 month period. Me, I own no property anywhere and I have been saving up for my Home Leave for over a year. I will be traveling for almost nine weeks, which includes the six travel days I am granted for driving back from Juarez to my official Home Leave location (my sister’s home just outside of Washington, DC), and my 40 days of Home Leave. For some reason that escapes me at this time, I decided to travel the whole nine weeks rather than renting a place in one or two locations. Like my driving fantasy, this too seemed a great idea at the time I was plotting it out.

Not even to the border on the first afternoon of driving and the cats are alternating meowing with just enough pause for me to get a meow in as well. Cat one: meow. Cat two: meow. Me: meow. Repeat. This amuses me for about 30 minutes or so. After 30 minutes driving east one is still technically in El Paso, though the city and all signs of civilization (except the road and other vehicles) are gone. I am not going to deny that the desert of West Texas does have a certain kind of beauty. Yet, I still find watching that same landscape for three hours is exhausting. Instead of exhilaration upon arriving at the hotel in Fort Stockton, I just dragged myself, the two cats in their cages, my daughter, my suitcase, my daughter’s suitcase, my daughter’s four Stuffies (the elephant, the “horse” – it’s really a pink camel, the cat, and the chihuahua), the three bags of toiletries, and my handbag into the hotel. Whew.

The following morning the cats are already wise to the operation and Cat Two hides herself inside the base of the bed. Yeah. The base is hollow and some previous pet had already made a nice hole to get through the mattress base into the area between that and the floor base. Just great. I have to call the front desk and tell them so they can send someone to assist. It feels like déjà vu. Two years ago we stayed in a La Quinta in Odessa, Texas and my cat found a vent cover left off a hole in the wall. That time I had to call the front desk and the return of the cat involved a buzz saw and the bathtub in the adjacent room. This time though my daughter finds it incredible amusing to watch myself and another grown up chase my poor, terrified cat around the hotel room. Such giggles!

Thankfully Cat Two is caught and I am able to load up the car for the next drive from Fort Stockton to Seguin. Once we arrive in Seguin I am the one most ecstatic to get out of the car. To think I had initially planned on a straight shot all the way to Houston, another 2 ½ to 3 hours away. Again, I must have been delirious when I was planning this!

OK. I will not say this is awful. I love that I have this time to spend with my daughter. My aunt tells me that I am still tired because I left Juarez tired. True. But this is not the most relaxing way to spend one’s home leave…Recall it is July and we are driving across Texas and the South. I also have two cats in the car and I have been apprehensive about stopping somewhere to eat for too long to come back and find some crazed pet savior smashing in my windows. So, no, we are not stopping whenever the desire strikes, when I see a sign for a historic marker or picnic area or scenic route. I just drive on and cross my fingers this two week drive does not translate into a ten pound weight gain or a loss of my sanity.

Week one is basically done. Juarez to Fort Stockton. 1 night stop. Fort Stockton to Seguin. 1 night stop. Seguin to Houston. Two nights stop (and I took my daughter to both the Houston Zoo and the Children’s Museum. Gained mom points). Houston to Natchitoches, Louisiana. Two nights stop (Great July 4th celebration here and then I dragged my daughter to historic sites. Lost mom points.) Tomorrow we head to Jackson, Mississippi. This is a change in plans. Originally I was headed to the Alabama gulf coast beaches but the thought of the long drive, back south, is too much for me. I need to be pointed toward home.