September 18, 2016 by trs

Shanghai: Preschool Days and Activities

For 2 months a Shanghai mall hosted this amazing My Little Pony wonderland (amazing for the kids at least; I grew tired of the MLP theme song in Chinese blaring over speakers fairly quickly).

I struggled to come up with just the right title for this blog post. Shanghai: The Kids Mecca or Parents Empty Your Wallets are both apt descriptions, but were not quite right. Shanghai is chock full of activities for your progeny. This is however not about all the kids activities on offer in this city–I am not that kind of blogger. I expect you probably could find just about anything your kids’ heart desires, but this is, as usual, just about me and C.

I am now the mom of a school-age child. Well, preschool-aged child, but it is school nonetheless. Approximately a year before arriving coming to Shanghai, I learned that the State Department does not cover the costs of preschool. It makes sense–preschool is not free in the United States and therefore it is not free for us overseas–yet it still came as a bit of a surprise. No worries, I thought, I did not attend preschool and look at me, I became a US diplomat. Not too shabby, right? Therefore I figured C would do just fine without.

Just one half of the fabulous Shanghai Centre Kids’ Club. The toys! The colors! Even I feel happy whenever I bring C here.

But things are different nowadays. Even in the US, Kindergarten classes are more and more often full day and involve homework. Preschool is the new Kindergarten. And I am in Northeast Asia where there can be even more pressure for preschool to provide not only structured children’s recreation but also to prepare kids to excel not just in primary school but even to possibly decide their future university and their entire lives. Yikes.

As soon as I arrived in Shanghai, I enrolled my daughter in the incredible Kids’ Club in our housing complex. Besides being a wonderful play space open 7 days a week from 9 am to 6 pm where parents and the ayis (nannies) can bring the kids from 6 months to 6 years to play, they also offer regular story time (in Chinese, English, and Japanese), DVD time, music class, and exercise class but also special activities from Easter parties to Japanese flower arranging and soccer games to cooking classes. And if you are a member you can rent the space for birthday parties (no need to supply games!) It is not inexpensive at US$50 a month, but it is well worth it.

This is a stack of 180 one hundred RMB notes. For real. Yes, I took a picture of the money. I actually did a whole photo shoot…

Once part of the Kids’ Club there was pressure to enroll C in the preschool. I was stopped in the supermarket, in the elevator, in parties at the Kids’ Club, with helpful suggestions that C might possibly be ready for school. She is bright. She will make friends. She will learn a lot. It is not that I disagreed per se, . but preschool, even full day preschool, does not actually last a full day (a full day is only 9 am to 3 pm; oh, how I wish that were my work day). As a single working mom who had already lucked out in finding a really great ayi (in other words not someone I wanted to lose), I just was not sure it was right for us. But after a year I came around to the idea C would benefit from some schooling. So I bit the bullet and signed her up for half day.

Every week the teachers send photos to all the parents via WeChat as no parents are allowed in the classroom.

I did have a bit of sticker shock. It would cost me 17,000 RMB for half day (9 am to noon), half a year. Plus a 1,000 RMB one-time registration fee. That total 18,000 RMB (approx US$2750) would need to be paid in cash on a Monday or Tuesday between 9 and 9:30 am. That’s right, a full 30 minutes mid-morning. Hmmmm… As a working mom I have been part of enough conversations to know I am not the only person to face this kind of situation – where schools still assume a parent (usually the mom) is readily available during the day. This, I am sure, was just my first such experience. I do not expect it to be the last. Luckily my daughter’s preschool committee turned out to be quite flexible — the treasurer (a very pregnant woman about to return to her home country to give birth), armed with an electric bill counter, met me at the Kids’ Club at 8 pm at night to accept my payment. It felt a bit cloak and dagger, but the payment was made.

C gets her jump on at the brand new NBA Play Zone, another awesome indoor kids play area that will drain your wallet. (only $36 for one adult with child on the weekend) But you love it. Draining your wallet, that is.

As preschool tuition costs go, C’s school is an absolute bargain. According to several online sites, private/international preschool programs in Shanghai cost between 5,000 and 20,000 RMB (US$758 and US$3,030) a month. One prominent international school costs 204,000 RMB a year with a 2000 RMB registration fee and a 20,000 RMB non-refundable security deposit for a total of 226,000 RMB (US$34,242). Just take a moment to digest that. Not quite as much as the current annual tuition at any of the Ivy League universities, but it will set you back a pretty penny and a vacation or two.

My daughter is absolutely loving school. What’s not to love? I mean once you get over handing over all that cash (yes, I do think a credit card payment would have felt less painful). This is a Montessori-based education. A total of 11 students with 2 teachers and 1 classroom helper. The student-teacher ratio is fantastic. Of the three hours, 30 minutes is spent in Chinese class. One of my previous excuses regarding the preschool was my daughter learns a lot from her ayi every day. Yet in three weeks of class C’s Chinese level has skyrocketed to include multiple Chinese children’s songs. Hearing her speak so much Chinese kinda makes me want to stay in China much longer. Kinda. Not really. Well, maybe. Um, no.

Look at my 4 year old climb this wall! (I know from personal experience I could not do it)

All kidding aside I love my daughter fiercely and I am happy that we have been posted to Shanghai where there are so many activities for her to participate in. The Chinese culture loves children and the worldly and affluent Shanghaiese make sure the city gives them and their kids options. My daughter is also enrolled in both private swimming and group ballet classes. We are lucky that both of these activities are located in our housing complex! I know. Be still my tired single mommy heart — a five minute walk to both swimming and dance is ideal. The swimming is hefty 250 RMB (US$38) per half an hour but I do think back to the mommy and me swimming we took in the US, which were $30 for half an hour with up to five kids and parents, and realize that our private classes are worth it. Especially as C is really benefiting from the classes. The dance classes too are extraordinary. I had some doubts that the teacher — despite her incredible patience with the children — would be able to get 8 four and five year olds to learn a routine and execute it on stage, but she did. The end of year recital was so sweet to watch. Lots of proud parents and kids. The 2,450 RMB (US$374) tuition is for 14 classes, the recital, and the show costume. I took dance as a child (ballet, tap, and hula/Tahitian) from the ages of 4 to 12, and I thought back to how much I enjoyed it.

As the bidding for my next assignment will begin tomorrow (as soon as I return from vacation), I think again how incredibly fortunate we have been to be posted to Shanghai. It is a place where kids are treasured and catered to. There are so many organized activities and places for creative play. Yes, it will cost you (it has certainly cost me), but it has been worth every penny to provide these kinds of opportunities for my daughter.

C and her Chinese swim instructor cover the basics as Rapunzel (lower right hand corner) looks on

August 21, 2016 by trs

Two Weekends on the Outskirts of Shanghai

August is hot in Shanghai. And like most places I have been there seem to be no holidays the whole long, hot month.

Shanghai municipality map This August is expected to be busier than last because of the G-20 Summit being held in Hangzhou, just an hour outside of Shanghai and within the Shanghai Consulate region. Though the G-20 leaders meeting will be held in early September, advance teams and preparation begins weeks beforehand and a large number of staff from the Shanghai Consulate have key roles. As a single mom of a young child I opted not to put my name forward to TDY (be sent temporary duty) to Hangzhou for potentially weeks, and instead volunteered to take on additional roles in Shanghai. Before the madness would begin I wanted to spend two long weekends away with my daughter. As I did not want to travel far I opted for two staycations, of sorts. We would stay at hotels within Shanghai municipality (though outside the city proper) for some quality mom and daughter time, where I could also tick a few things off my Shanghai bucket list. Thanks to a G-20 clean up campaign, we experienced days with some of the lowest AQI (air quality index) since we arrived, with the most startling blue skies I have ever seen in Shanghai.

Weekend One: Sheshan

The Sofitel Sheshan swimming pool – C liked the hotel so much she asked if we could move there for 5 years

After lunch on Friday, August 12 we departed for Sheshan via metro. C was not all that happy as she has a generally low opinion of traveling on the Shanghai subway. Her preference is for taxis. But with an hour ride ahead of us from Jing’An Station to Sheshan Station (with one change of lines), the 5 RMB metro fare (C rides free as all children under 1.4 meters tall do) was more attractive than the 150+ RMB taxi fare. I thought it might take awhile too to find a taxi driver willing to make the one hour journey. So it was worth it to me to drag C, the stroller, my bag, and our suitcase (full of enough toys and books for at least a week) the three blocks to the nearest subway station and through the transfer. Thankfully an hour later I still had not regretted it.

View of Sheshan with the basilica and observatory clear against the startling blue sky

We booked at the Sofitel Hotel Sheshan Oriental. The plan was to arrive around 2 pm, check-in, and then head out to one of the nearby sights. I should know by now that traveling with C never means we “just” check-in and we head out “immediately.” It is almost laughable how much I persist in this fantasy. C is a true traveler and hotel connoisseur; she likes to check-in and then check out the hotel. We were wooed by our large corner suite room, the make-your-own-ice-cream-bar bar in the lobby (50 RMB but the front desk clerk gave me coupons for two free ones just because I asked about the ice cream stand), and the two swimming pools – one for kids and one for families. In the evening after dinner, we went for a walk around the extensive grounds, stopping also at the two kids rooms — one an arcade of sorts and the other with ball pit and slides.

For day two I was determined to get some bucket list sightseeing done, so we were off to Sheshan – or She Hill (pronounced like “shuh”), which is the highest point in Shanghai. How high seems to be the subject of much debate as I found 97, 99, and 100 meters online, but since most of Shanghai is quite flat, this hill stands out regardless how high it may be.

C gets cheeky before we begin our climb

The hill is located in the Sheshan National Forest Park. I find Shanghai to be a fairly leafy city; even in the heart of the concrete jungle of downtown, there are trees on every street and given my view from my 19th floor apartment, many high rises with rooftop gardens. Still I was unprepared for the amount of greenery I found at Sheshan. Entrance to the park is free, one only has to bring some energy to climb. Ninety-seven to 100 meters may not sound like much, but if you are braving it with a 4 year old and a stroller (that you have to carry half the time and push up inclines the other half) in 95 degree weather with 80% humidity, then it does feel like the mountain the Shanghaiese sometimes jokingly call it.

I chose the wooden walkway vice the “difficult path” on the map located near the pagoda at the top of a steep flight of stairs from the parking area. The boardwalk-like pathway was very nice. Thick bamboo forest could be seen on one side of the hill. I had a hard time believing we were still in Shanghai. After some time – I lost track – we arrived at another rest area from where we could choose to visit the observatory or the basilica. I could tell you we made it to the top without complaints, but I would be lying. It was hot and C may have said a few times that she did not want to walk, did not want to see “Snake Hill” (“she” can mean snake, but it is not the character used for Sheshan), and that the whole thing was “boring.” A second Chinese popsicle might have helped us to get up the extra bit.

The view from Sheshan including the hill with pagoda and the conservatory at Chenshan Botanical Garden

At the top we visited the small but interesting Shanghai Astronomical Museum and the pretty Sheshan basilica. The original observatory was built in 1900 by French missionaries and was one of the first modern observatories in China. The basilica is purportedly “the largest cathedral in the Far East,” and a church has been on the site since 1863. C seemed to rally for both the sites but I did reward her for her cooperation with a delicious lunch and more pool time once back at the hotel.

On the last morning I again had a plan – to arrive at the Chenshan Botanical Garden at 9 am, right when it opened. We made it by 10. The gardens, at 207 hectares or 511 acres or 2 million square meters (whichever measurement makes the most sense to you), is one of the largest botanical gardens in the world and Shanghai’s largest green space. Thank goodness I had a stroller and I sprang for the 10 RMB sightseeing bus. We stopped first at the Children’s Garden, which of course is more a giant playground than a garden. But it being the first weekend in August, at 10-something in the morning, it was already well over 80 degrees and climbing. The playground had almost zero cover. C played for about 10 minutes as I slowly melted into a puddle. I found a double chair swing in the shade but I was antsy to get moving. I spotted what appeared to be swans and used them to distract C, and we were off.

The floating bridge in the old quarry

Bridge to treehouse island

Inside the greenhouse

We visited the tree house island, where the water fowl were hanging out, and then headed over to the rose garden via the topiary garden and a long way around the western edge of West Lake. The roses were naturally pretty and the perfume from the flowers extremely fragrant, but with no cover, the flowers and me were wilting. C seemed happy enough though so we pressed on. But as we walked (and C rode) I could feel my enthusiasm for the gardens diminishing. It was too hot. I planned on one last stop – the quarry garden (listed on the brochure as a “recommended attraction” during the summer months) – and then a ride on the shuttle bus back to the visitor’s center. But once inside the abandoned quarry, now a large artificial lake with a floating walkway, complete with dual waterfalls cascading down from the top of Chenshan hill, I found my second wind. The floating bridge led to a tunnel through the rock leading us from the Quarry Garden to the Rock Garden. We walked on, until we found ourselves at the conservatory, a 12000 square meter greenhouse, the largest in Asia.

After about 45 minutes in the greenhouses we were on the shuttle back to the Visitor’s Center. We had survived three hours in the gardens, but now I was feeling concerned about getting back to the hotel and home. The hotel had arranged an Uber driver for us to the garden, but at drop off it was clear this was not a location where taxis frequented. It seemed we might have to wait for the bus that would take us to the Sheshan metro station from where we could catch a taxi back to the hotel to collect our belongings and then head home. But as we crossed the vast parking and entrance area I spotted a taxi across the road, idling. I began to sprint, pushing the stroller with an energy I was sure I had sweated away hours before. We secured the taxi, one of the nice new caravan taxis with fully functioning A/C and no stench of stale cigarette smoke, back to the hotel. Along the way, C fell asleep, hard. I asked the driver if he was up to driving us all the way back to our home downtown with just a quick stop at the hotel to grab out bags. He agreed much to my relief.

Weekend Two: Chongming Island

The bridge linking Shanghai with Chongming island

Depending on whether or not you count Taiwan, Chongming is either the second or third largest island of China. It is 1,267 square kilometers (489 square miles) with a population around 700,000 people. Given that Shanghai total, the municipality including Chongming, has a population of 24 million, that means that the island makes up about a seventh of the total land area but has only 3% of the population. High rises are few – though there appears to be a building boom on the island – and for now nature is the primary thing to see.

I had read about the Hyatt Regency Chongming in a Shanghai family magazine aimed at expats. The island and the hotel sounded so nice I quickly added it to my bucket list and determined it would be my destination for my second weekend staycation.

The concierge at the Portman Ritz Carlton, part of our apartment complex, arranged an Uber for us to the hotel. Even with an Uber it cost us 220 RMB for the hour plus ride including tolls. Once we hit the tunnel to Changxing Island (in-between Shanghai proper and Chongming) it already felt like we were very far from the city.

A room fit for my princess

I knew better this time than to make some big plans after our arrival. There is less to do on the island than in Sheshan and this weekend was going to be more about relaxing. Once again I shelled out the extra dough for an upgraded room that would include breakfast, a better room, and club access including “happy hour,” where we could fill up on a full dinner meal. Still there was a bit of a mix-up with the room, but the helpful hotel staff arranged for us to have a further upgrade for one night to one of the kids’ character rooms. C chose a Frozen-inspired room (though she was also quite taken with the Captain America room too). The rest of the day was devoted to walking (ok, running) through the hotel’s sunlight wooden corridors and the extensive grounds, rocking in the comfy swing on our balcony listening to bird song, saying hello to dogs (it is a very dog friendly hotel, with specially designed rooms with enclosed patios for those who bring their furry companions), and swimming at the pool.

The next day my bubble was burst. My plan was to rent one of the “mommy and me” bicycles available at the hotel for a nice bike ride to the Dongtan Nature Reserve. When I explained my plan to the woman at the rental counter her draw dropped. “But,” she stammered, “it is really hot right now.” She had a point. It was hot as blazes outside, again forecast to climb into the mid-90s. But hey, I am fit and I wanted to ride the bicycle. “But,” she explains patiently, as if talking to a child, “the reserve is very far away.” The magazine I had read indicated the reserve was a “short trip from the hotel.” She told me that it was not, it was actually about 20 minutes away by car. She told me if I took a regular bicycle it would take me at least an hour, but with the mommy and me bicycle, it would take me about three because is is really sloooooooooow. Yeah, three hours one way on a weird bicycle in 90 degree heat did sound like a terrible idea. Scratch that.

C enjoys lounging

First time on a bicycle!

Meanwhile C had already decided she wanted nothing to do with a bicycle that had her just sitting the whole time. She had her eye on the children’s bikes with “stabilizers” (she watches a lot of Peppa Pig so does not even know the American term “training wheels”). I asked instead about Dongping National Forest Park, also claimed to be “close to the hotel” in my trusty magazine. The huge park is perfect for long walks and also apparently includes an area with horse rides, bumper carts, and other carnival type rides. The helpful concierge could barely keep from snorting her incredulity at the proximity I believed the park to be. She informed me it is AN HOUR taxi ride from the hotel. We might as well head back to Shanghai.

So C got to ride a bicycle for the very first time for nearly two hours in the sweltering heat. She was so happy I don’t think she noticed it was warm. (When we returned the bike though, a bellman gave me props for our long time outdoors because he told me he could barely stand 5 minutes outside. C and I are dedicated to “relaxing” at all costs.)

The Dongtan Nature Reserve Visitors Center

Part of the beautiful grounds

I was determined to see some of the natural sites on Chongming – or any site at all other than the hotel. After lunch and the heat of midday I again asked the concierge about a trip to Dongtan Nature Reserve, this time booking a taxi to pick us up. Because there is no dedicated taxi stand at the hotel (it isn’t near anything other than a new retirement apartment complex on the one side and a new Tuscan-style housing complex on the other), she had to call a taxi to come from Chenjia town about 10km away. And the meter starts from the taxi leaving the town, not picking us up. So our 20 minute ride to the Dongtan parking lot cost 80 RMB, about four times more than a similar ride would cost in Shanghai.

The nearly empty gravel parking lot at Dongtan and small ticket shack did not give me much confidence that this had been a good idea. At 2:30 in the afternoon it was still sweltering. Again, there was no cover to be seen and I had decided to not bring the stroller, probably a poor decision on my part. I shelled out an additional 10 RMB for the golf cart shuttle to take us from the parking lot to the furthest stop. At 60,000 acres, the wetland reserve, is no small feat to get around. Even had we brought the stroller there was simply no way for us to really get around to all the areas. Bicycles are for rent, but there are no “mommy and me” ones here. So I limited us to two areas – the far wetland marsh area where one can walk through the tall marsh grasses on a boardwalk and the area around the visitor’s center.

This cannot possibly be Shanghai anymore – boardwalk through the wetlands at Dongtan

Though the reserve is a migratory location for some 1 million birds representing nearly 300 species, we heard only a few and saw even less. Given it was 3 to 4 PM and around 1000 degrees outside, I think the birds had the right idea to lay low somewhere. Yet the sheer size of the reserve, its layout, its mission, and the incredible scenery under those G-20 blue skies, made sweating away a few pounds of water while occasionally carrying a disgruntled 4-year-old worth the effort.

The following day, having decided that Dongping Forest was not worth the two hour round trip for a 50 RMB 5 minute pony ride (which I was sure what we would end up doing), was just for lazing around the room, swinging on the balcony, and snuggling with C. I had planned to leave the hotel right after check out at noon, but I am glad I asked the concierge yet again about getting back to Shanghai. Turns out it is no simple matter if you do not have a car. Chongming taxis are local and only licensed for the island. Therefore in order to return to Shanghai, the concierge would have to call a Shanghai taxi to pick us up, for which we would incur a steep fee and at least a 90 minute wait. My other option was to hire a local taxi to come from Chenjia town to take us to the island bus station. We would have to wait 30 minutes for that taxi and pay at least 80 RMB. Then we would take a bus from the island to the Science and Technology Museum metro station in Pudong, then ride the metro seven stops to West Nanjing road, and then walk several blocks home. Weighing my two options I decided the latter offered the greatest amount of adventure.

As luck would have it, I struck up a conversation with a couple traveling with their 18 month old son whom I had helped direct to the swimming pool the night before. While I was in line for check-out, psyching myself up for our taxi-bus-subway-walk journey, the wife approached me and said they would be happy to drive us home. It turned out the couple, both fluent in English and German, having studied in Germany and worked for German companies in Shanghai, live only a 10 minute walk from our own apartment. They saved C and I from myself and my sense of “adventure” and we had a lovely trip home.

July 24, 2016 by trs

Shanghai: Inside a Year

Spring comes to Shanghai–blossoms and celebratory lanterns at Longhua Temple

I joined the Foreign Service in part because of my love of travel and experiencing other cultures and as much as I may come to care for one place, after some time I itch to head on to the next. And I rather prefer knowing approximately when that might be. I knew that I would head to Shanghai for my second tour before I even arrived at my first. That is not usual in the Foreign Service, yet that was my experience.

Back in February I celebrated one year in Shanghai (see From Sheep to Monkey: Shanghai Year One in Review). One year in a two year tour is a milestone. Knowing the length of a tour gives one a natural timeframe–literally a frame, to bookend your period there. But in my case I have extended, so one year, well it marked one year, but not half way.

I struggled with this, I will admit it. It actually made me just a tad crazy.

The very cool facade of the Himalayas Center

So to keep myself busy through the spring I worked through my Shanghai bucket list. There is so very much to see and do in Shanghai. Given my circumstances – an introverted tee-totaling single mom of a young child – I am not into the bar and restaurant scene. I am however into museums and historical sites and Shanghai has those in spades.

In February I took C out to the Shanghai Himalayas Art Museum. Yes, there is such a thing. There is such a surge in museum construction in China that there seems space for museums on some very specific topics. The museum is located in the Pudong Himalayas Center located just outside the Huamu subway station. You might not think a museum about the art and culture of the Himalayan regiona would be that entertaining for a four year old, but C seemed into the replica rooms of a few of the Mogao grottos and several of the murals. Well, ok, she seemed into it for ten minutes and then she started pointing out all of the exit signs…I still highly recommend it.

In March we headed out to see the ERA Intersection of Time show at the Shanghai Circus World. The show was spectacular. I had enjoyed the show at the Shanghai Centre theater but it could not compare with ERA and the theater space that Shanghai Circus World could provide – for example the giant metal sphere into which up to eight, or maybe it was ten, motorcycles drove into and around. C seemed delighted, but that particular performance had me covering my eyes and crossing my fingers.

Great weather for a visit to Yu Gardens. Beautiful but a LOT of work to visit.

The first weekend in April is a long one as it coincides with the Chinese holiday Tomb Sweeping Day. It would seem like a good time to take a nice short holiday, except that this weekend also tends to be a very wet one; I learned this the hard way last year (see Hanging in Hangzhou). I was glad I did not tempt fate again with a trip out of town because it did not defy expectations – it poured all weekend. Yet the following weekend was absolutely beautiful and it coincided with the Longhua temple festival. We visited the temple awash in sunshine and blossoming peach trees decorated with small lanterns; the stone temple lions festooned with large red bows made them seem more like pets than fierce guardians. Next to the temple we saw the pagoda, one of the few in Shanghai, and explored the Longhua memorial park, martyrs cemetery and museum.

Later in April we also braved a visit to Yu Gardens and bazaar, a must-see listed in every single brochure and tourist website about Shanghai. We went on a weekend. With Every, Single, Person in Shanghai. The zig-zag bridge leading to the Huxingting teahouse, designed to foil evil spirits (who cannot turn corners), was so packed to the gills with people such that our progress was not only slow but totally in the control of those around us. I imagine from above it might have seemed the bridge itself was moving like a writhing snake. Yet we were trapped on it – and there I was with a curly blonde haired child in a stroller. She was the subject of a lot of unwanted attention. Once inside the garden itself, where the entrance fee dissuades some of the throng from entering, we had a more enjoyable time.

A quiet place for reflection at the Guyi gardens at Nanxiang

Then there was our epic R&R, two visits to the world’s newest Disneyland, and on Memorial Day I took advantage of the nanny watching C and headed out solo to Nanxiang “Ancient Town” a Suzhou-like water town in miniature located in northwest Shanghai and the nearby Ming-dynasty Guyi gardens. As I do most things in my free time with my four year old daughter in tow, being on my own for sightseeing is an extremely liberating but sort of bewildering experience. I am grateful for the chance to walk longer and further than I can with C, but invariably I come across something, for instance a stone horse, that I know C would have enjoyed seeing.

In June I managed a work trip to Jiaxing to participate in Dragon Boat holiday festivities, visiting the newly opened Museum of Zongzi (dumpling) Culture and taking part in a dumpling wrapping contest for foreigners. The skills I learned hurriedly at the museum came in handy and I clinched third place in the contest. Alright, I tied for third place with nine other people, but third is third, and I proudly accepted my certificate. July brought about a mini getaway within Shanghai and also a visit to the Shanghai Museum of Glass, with the super-fun acronym SHMOG. A glass museum might seem a terrible place to take a small child, and indeed there is a display in the museum thoughtlessly damaged by poorly behaved children and video-recorded by even more irresponsible parents. (The museum plays the surveillance video of the crime next to the damaged artwork to serve as a warning and reminder. I used it as a teaching moment with C). Yet we stayed at the museum for FOUR hours – visiting the main museum, having a nice lunch in one of the three or four museum cafes, running around the beautiful rainbow chapel, exploring the co-located children’s museum of glass, and finally watching a glass blowing demonstration.

C contemplates the beauty of the SHMOG Rainbow Chapel

All of this eventually brought me to this point – I am now comfortably at the “inside a year” mark. Where inside a year I am is still very much up in the air. At this point I still do not know when I will head to my next tour. It will depend very much on where that next post will be.

While there are still a lot of unknowns and it is unlikely I will have the answers until sometime late this fall, I am fairly confident that I have less than 11 months left at post.

This is in part because I am a pack-rat dependent in recovery. I grew up with pack-rat parents: I dislike having too many things in my home. You may recall back to when I first arrived and I wrote about the storage unit mishap with my apartment assignment.

In my bid to conquer the bucket list C and I also visited the Moon Boat, which had been the Saudi Pavilion during the 2010 Shanghai Expo. This is from the upper inside floor looking down the spiral walkway.

My use of the ninth floor storage unit ended on July 15^th and all of my remaining belongings have been moved into my guest room. Well, I can stop kidding myself. I have been living here in Shanghai for 18 months and have not hosted a guest yet. I might as well call that room my storage room.

I hate it.

Ok, hate is a strong word. I really dislike it. I keep the door to the room now closed because I do not want to look at it on a regular basis. It makes me want to get rid of things in this apartment NOW.

I will admit to having already begun to make the lists of items that will not come with us when we depart. To have already begun the UAB and HHE lists. To have started calculating the timeframe for using up those consumables (the laundry detergent, the shampoo and conditioner, the toothpaste, and the like) I brought with me. I am losing interest already in buying things on Amazon… Yes, I just said that. Losing interest in buying things on Amazon. You know things are getting pretty serious when someone says that. And I may still have 11 months to go!

The consulate is in the summer transfer season. Each week brings yet another long-time colleague/neighbor/friend leaving post. In the past four to six weeks four of my daughter’s closest playmates have left Shanghai. They head to South Africa, Los Angeles, Jamaica and Ohio. I too have had to say goodbye to many good colleagues over the past several months, some of whom had become good friends. I am feeling a little jealous of those departing.

Next year though will be our year. We will get to do the pack-out survey and the pack-out. We will get the farewell party and the confusing check-out survey, visiting offices that have to sign off on our departure that I had little or no interaction with during the tour. I will see who has lasted longer in Shanghai – my daughter and I or that darn bulldozer that has been sitting on the sidewalk on my way to work since day one. Eighteen months later and it is still there.

I am sort of rooting for the bulldozer.

Current Shanghai visa tally:

Total visa adjudications: 36,096

Total number of fingerprints taken: 8,997

June 12, 2016 by trs

Shanghai Disneyland Trials

I have seen colleagues around the world be involved in some rather substantial events. From important election monitoring to Presidential or other high level visits, from attending major sporting or art events to standing in the room during key speeches of global significance.

At long last I am at post when something of major historical significance occurs: the opening of the world’s sixth Disney park!

We got the “golden” tickets

And not only am I here for the opening but I was able to be one of the few to experience the park before the official opening day on June 16, 2016. Okay “few” might be stretching the truth. The park opened in early May for a six week trial period. Though closed Mondays and Thursdays, each day the park welcomed somewhere between 10,000 and 30,000 people to experience the park to allow cast members and crew to practice and rehearse. So, that would mean approximately 600,000 people would visit the park even before opening day. By May 20 Fortune reported that one million Chinese had already made their way to Disney Town, the ticket-free Disney restaurant and shopping mecca next to the park. But still, for my daughter and I to be two of the lucky ones felt pretty darn awesome.

The shortest Main Street (called Mickey Avenue) and the largest castle

C and I visited the park not just once, but twice! Once we went as part of a group of tickets purchased through a special release to the US Consulate. We had a second chance for a visit because C has friends and those friends have parents who work for Disney.

I am not a Disney expert. I know some Disney experts and they could really provide you with a detailed treatise on the similarities and differences between the Disney parks. I have been making a valiant effort to become more of a Disney authority—Shanghai Disneyland is our fourth park in the past year. We have been to Disney in Orlando, Anaheim, Hong Kong, and now Shanghai—but I still have a long way to go. I can only tell you my impressions, share only what we experienced. And this was during the trial period so hard to say if it will remain the same when the park opens.

I have no personal experience with the TRON coaster, but it looks cool.

There are familiar rides at Shanghai Disneyland such as a carousel, Dumbo the Flying Elephant, the Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, and Stitch Encounter. There are also brand new to Shanghai rides such as the TRON Lightcycle Power Run and the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. I have heard the last two are pretty spectacular but I can tell you absolutely nothing about them. I have never even been on the Mine Train. I am a single mom of a four year old girl. We ride a lot of Dumbo and Pooh. We meet a lot of Princesses. And that is totally okay. That is one of the great things about Disney. We can enjoy it now when my daughter is 4 and we can enjoy it again as she grows older.

The Fantasia Carousel

Hunny Pots instead of Mad Tea Party

We loved the Fantasia inspired carousel. The Hunny Pot Spin, the Shanghai version of the Mad Tea Party spinning cups, was also a huge hit. I enjoyed the Voyage to the Crystal Grotto boat ride, mostly because it is probably the longest lasting ride and if you have a sleepy or sleeping child it can provide the most break time for the parent. I expect C would have enjoyed the displays from Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, Mulan and more but I certainly was not going to wake her. After holding a snoozing C for 20 minutes in line I was grateful for the ten minutes or so I actually got to sit down. C loved Shipwreck Shore in the Treasure Cove area. It is an interactive pirate boat activity area with water guns, ropes that lift pirate treasure or a shark from the water, and barrels that shoot water out on unsuspecting guests. It was really the only thing for a single mom and a four year old to do in Treasure Cove. We also had fun on the Buzz Lightyear Planet Rescue. It is a fun ride that allows two passengers to each shoot his or her own laser gun and rack up points video game style. Well, to be honest C spent the first minute or so hiding under the dash of our rocket ship so although she came around she could never quite catch up to me and lost something like 240,000 points to 3,200. Still I told her I could never have defeated Zurg without her. Then she wanted to ride again. (I said no because the line was a slow moving 50 minutes at least)

A very cool Mulan in the parade

Merida impresses in the Fairytale Fanfare

I also really liked both the parade and the Golden Fairytale Fanfare, which is a musical show in front of the Enchanted Storybook Castle featuring Snow White, Anna and Elsa, Aladdin and Jasmine, Ariel, and Merida. The downsides were that like any Disney parade route you need to get in place early, so I could only see what I could make out over the heads of the five people deep Chinese crowd (though C got a seat on the ground in front with other kids) and for the Fanfare the “host” speaks all in Chinese and it is standing room only. Although there are 5 or 6 rows they are flat rather than rising. So if you are in the back rows you have no height advantage facing the stage over those in the first rows. We stood in the very front of the second row and still had a limited view. (I put C on my shoulders though so she could see unobstructed) I also really liked the Alice in Wonderland Maze. The “Once Upon a Time” Adventure in the castle though felt like a waste of time. Character meetings with Baymax, Stitch, Rapunzel and Belle made up for that though. You can even meet Captain America, Spiderman, and Darth Vader in this park.

If you think about it, this is the only park in the world where the majority of international visitors will require a visa to visit. Of course international visitors will still come. And of course there are a lot of foreigners who live in China who will come. But the majority of visitors to this Magic Kingdom will be citizens of the Middle Kingdom. And the park has been designed with the locals in mind.

For example, probably 75% of the toilets in the park are the squatting kind. You read that right. And for the Chinese that is not a problem. And look, I have been around Asia long enough that it is not a problem for me. I would just prefer not to use a squatting toilet if I have the option. I am getting a bit old to squat. Seriously, my knees are just not as forgiving as they used to be. Also my daughter is not a fan of the squatty potty as she once fell in. That was not a fun day for me either. So I sought out the western sitting commodes and unfortunately on more than one I found footprints. Probably where children—at least I hope it was children—tried to stand on the seat.

Picky Western eaters, you will not starve!

Then there is the food. If you are a fan of Chinese food or the Chinese version of Western food, then this is the park for you! Rice bowls, noodle bowls, steamed buns, dim sum, Mongolian beef, and grilled squid skewers are all available in the park. If you want a Mickey shaped pizza that is most certainly not Chicago or New York style, topped with seafood and sweet soy sauce then you have come to the right place. None of these float my boat. If you want a gigantic bin of popcorn then be prepared for the super sweet kind. It smells divine but if you like salty and buttered you are out of luck. Western food is not out completely though. You can find German style bratwurst, Australian-style meat pies, and gigantic turkey legs in the park. The Stargazer Grill in Tomorrowland also serves up some nice hamburgers, hotdogs, chicken fingers, fries and salads. In Disney Town you can find a Wolfgang Puck eatery, Starbucks, a California sushi joint, Thai food, BreadTalk, and Asia’s first Cheesecake Factory.

This is joy!

There are a few downsides…

The FastPass system. It kinda sucks. When we went to Disneyworld in Orlando, each single day ticket included three FastPass selections that can be chosen as much as 30 days before arrival at the park. If you wanted to change the ride or the time, you just go online. In other parks there are FastPass machines. Shanghai Disneyland also has the machines but you must visit the Guest Services kiosk in the section of the park where your FastPass eligible ride is located. The line to use the machines was in many circumstances as long as or longer than waiting in line for the attraction itself. I much prefer the Disneyworld model.

Line Jumpers. This was a disappointment. Despite the “reminder for your enjoyment” on the brochure to “Line up together with your entire party, please respect other guests while queuing, and guests should not jump ahead of others in the queue” I saw people blatantly disregard this repeatedly. At the security line, the ticket line, lines at the carousel, Dumbo, Buzz Lightyear, Storybook Court…just about anyplace there was a line I witnessed people trying to bypass it. At the security line on our second visit a woman walked right up and then stood in front of me. When I pointed this out, in Chinese, she turned to look at me, responding in English, with “I did not see you there.” When I indicated this was pretty unlikely as she stepped right in front of my daughter’s stroller she shrugged and told me “This is China. You are not going to be able to control us all.” That does not bode well.

Stitch in Chinese. As annoying as you can imagine.

Language. Although there are English and Chinese brochures the primary language is, naturally, Chinese. You may have heard that Chinese is a difficult language. i.e. You cannot sound out characters and figure out what they mean. Not a chance. Most shows and information for attractions are in Chinese. Disney even created a Mandarin-only live production of the Lion King for the theater in Disney Town. We went to see the Stitch Encounter. I should have known that something was up when there was only a 10 minute wait. In Hong Kong you can see shows in Cantonese, Mandarin, and English. In Paris, it’s in English or French. In Shanghai, It is all in Chinese. (Though in their defense Tokyo has only Japanese). My daughter loved it—I expect it is a combination of her understanding of Chinese and connecting with an annoying animated alien—but I learned to never get in line for that attraction again. Ever.

And as usual in China, my daughter became an added attraction for local guests. She entertained other people in line simply by also being in line. She was photographed by far more than myself and the Disney photographer while chatting with princesses and other Disney characters. It added another exhausting element to a day at the park.

Take the Metro

This way to Disney

I do not have many tips other than take the metro to the park. It has its own stop on line 11 and reportedly even a few trains are decked out in Disney. It’s an inexpensive and quick way to get there and back. Just check the last train times because once its closed I hear the taxi drivers are unforgiving. Oh, and also, if you are riding the metro do not buy any of those beautiful Disney balloons—no balloons are allowed on the Shanghai subway. I found out the hard way leading to once very sad little girl. But luckily I knew before we went to Disney.

So did we have fun? We sure did. This is the closest I may ever live to a Disney park. Though given I am in the Foreign Service (Hong Kong, Paris and Tokyo could be possibilities) and I could choose to live in either Florida or California… I expect to take C again once the park officially opens so we can also stay at least one night in the Toy Story hotel. Even with the negatives it is still Disney and we are on the path to hardcore Disneydom.

May 29, 2016 by trs

The First R&R (Shanghai)

Ah, R&R. Good ole Rest and Recuperation. Or Rest and Relaxation. That time when the State Department pays for you and your family to get out of dodge, er post, on holiday.

The Foreign Affairs Handbook (3 FAH-1 H-3721.2) defines the need for R&R as Conditions of life at the post present distinct and significant difficulties of sufficient severity to justify temporary relief for an employee and employee’s eligible family members during a period of assignment.

That sounds pretty dull actually. I searched and searched for something in the FAH that had a bit more pizzazz but to no avail. Some might not think Shanghai is the kind of place that would justify temporary relief. I will be the first to tell you that we have things pretty good here. Our apartment and apartment complex is amazing. The city is full of great things to see and do. The supermarkets usually have a good selection of fresh produce and restaurants are plentiful. However the poor air quality, the internet restrictions, the crowds, the language, the pace of work can get to a person. I will tell you I feel a palpable sense of lightening when I am outside of China.

This was actually my first R&R with the State Department. Yeah, that is right; Ciudad Juarez had no R&R because well, it was literally five miles from the US. None of the Mexican border posts had R&R although interior Mexican posts did. I will refrain from my personal opinion on this but suffice to say that some of my colleagues were not too pleased that the dusty desert border city with 15% danger pay was a no but culturally rich and exciting Mexico City was a yes.

I am just grateful to have an R&R, even if I have to work on the resting and recuperating.

Part One: Virginia

Jet lag? What’s that?

We landed at 5:40 am at Dulles International Airport. My father loaned me one of his cars for the duration of our time in Virginia, so I drove him home (my parents live only ten minutes from the airport) and then to the hotel. The hotel management was really awesome to let us check in at 7 am. All the luggage into the room, a shower, and then we were off to our first activity.

My daughter loves horses. I mean LOVES horses. At 4 she is a bit young for horse riding lessons but there is a wonderful stable in Aldie, Virginia called Stonelea Farm that has a Hello Pony program for kids ages 2-5. They get to groom a horse, ride it twice several times around an arena, feed the horse snacks and receive a horse shoe souvenir. The program is only on Saturdays and we only had the one in Virginia…so fresh off a plane, jet lagged and all I took my little girl to see a horse. Afterwards we headed to a restaurant to meet my parents, my aunt, and my sister, brother in law, niece and nephew for lunch. We made it to 5pm before falling asleep.

On our second day we met a friend of mine who had recently relocated from New York to DC. And we went to PetSmart because we like an entire store dedicated to animals where people bring their pets to shop. And then we went to Target because I love that store with a special kind of love from deep within my core. You never know what things mean to you until they are gone. Target is my happy place when I come back to the US.

We spent the third day in historic Manassas, Virginia. It being a Monday the museum was unfortunately closed and we did not have the time to visit the battlefield, but we did enjoy a stroll around the historic section. After lunch we drove to the home of an A-100 colleague. A-100 is the 6 week course that all new Foreign Service Officers take. Your A-100 class is like a freshman dorm or hall – it is your identifying mark, your built in network. Although this colleague has left the Service she still remains in touch and had offered my daughter an opportunity to meet her beautiful horse and I was finally taking advantage.

On Tuesday I went into “Main State,” the Department of State’s headquarters on C Street in Washington, DC. Why pray tell did I use up a day of my vacation to do that? Believe you me; the day before and morning of I too was wondering the same thing. Later this year I will go through the mid-level bidding process for the first time. “Bidding is a wonderful experience,” said no one ever. From what I understand bidding appears to be a special long-drawn out form of torture we put Foreign Service Officers through again and again and again. We may have a career but we need to make a huge effort to get each job.

Flags Flown At Half Staff At The State Department After Ambassador Killed In Libya

Not the usual R&R destination

With this in mind my mentor had suggested I consider taking part of my R&R in or around Washington and make my way through the halls of the Harry S Truman (HST) building to meet with people. I embraced this idea wholeheartedly and managed to score four meetings with desk officers working in countries where I have a strong interest in serving (and which at this time are projected to have a vacancy in a political job at the time I transfer from Shanghai) and also a meeting with my mid-level Career Development Officer. I had lunch with two friends who are currently desk officers.

Yet that morning I really was feeling resentful. This was my vacation. I wanted to be vacationing, not networking. Once inside the building though I felt different. First, I was immensely pleased that I managed to get from the front door to the cafeteria to buy a snack and to my first appointment on time. I may have been lost for only 20 minutes. For me, Main State is akin to the Winchester Mystery House. I have actually not been to the haunted home in San Jose, California, but I read about it in a ghost book when in elementary school. I was fascinated with the idea of a crazy house with stairs that lead to the ceiling, doors that open to nowhere, and secret passageways. HST has corridors cut in half, stairways that lead to doors outside but will take you nowhere else in the building, and hallways that are labeled the same number but are not connected. Second, I felt connected to the greater work of the State Department in a way I do not feel at post doing visas. Visas are a big part of Consular Affairs but there is so much more going on. It seems obvious but it felt like a revelation nonetheless. My meetings went well; I have no idea if it will help in any way come bidding time, but I learned a lot.

Phase Two: Kentucky

Off we flew to Louisville. I was there for a few reasons. One, I had never been to Louisville, which is generally, in my opinion, a good enough reason to go somewhere. Second, I was signed up to run the Derby Half Marathon. Of course. Few R&Rs are complete without running a long distance that one is not well-prepared for. Third, my daughter would spend two days and two nights with her dad – the first time she would visit with him without me.

The first day was for my daughter and me to get out on the town. It was just 10 days before the Derby so it felt essential to start our visit at the Kentucky Derby Museum at the famous Churchill Downs. The museum has the right mix of the modern and historic, and exhibits for adults and children. The admission price included a tour of the racecourse, and we were there at an early enough time in the morning to see several horses being put through their paces. It is hard to say which my daughter loved more—the real horses on the track or the pretend Derby race in the museum. I really hope someday to take her to see the real thing.

Next we visited the Louisville Slugger Museum, which was a lot of fun. C seemed a bit hesitant at first, until she saw the Captain America statue out front. She was more impressed with that than the 120-foot tall baseball bat. I really enjoyed the factory tour and C tolerated it enough to let me get through the whole thing without incident.

The following day we met her dad and his new wife for lunch and then the two of them drove off with C to the zoo. (Just for clarification I was never the old wife. Someday I might address our particular situation, or not. But suffice to say we get along and he loves C).

What to do with myself though? Now that I was on the town on a Friday night without my child? With the half marathon the following day? Well, the weather was predicted to be less than ideal, with the rain set to begin around 2 am. And my training had not been particularly inspiring. Once again, I just wanted to get out on the road and run. So, I went to the Jim Beam Stillhouse. Because bourbon was the best thing I could think of.

This seemed the appropriate way to celebrate both before and after a half marathon in Kentucky.

The next day I was up early. The rain had not started in the early am. Even at 5 am the skies were cloudy but dry. A little before 7 I walked over to the start line. Just before the race was to start at 7:30 my heel began to hurt. So, that was a great sign. At the one mile mark my chest started to tighten and I began to wheeze. It felt like the start of asthma. It had stopped bothering me by the 3rd mile. I stopped at a port-a-potty at mile 5 but the line didn’t move after five minutes so I just started running again. Around mile 5.5 it began to rain, lightly but steadily. At 6 I stopped to put on the one-time-use rain jacket I had bought at Target the day before. (See? Target.) At mile 8 we entered Churchill Downs. There are no spectators allowed inside, but I had heard on the TV that morning a reporter say she would be there and to stop at her tent, covered from the rain, to say hello. So I did. We chatted. We did an interview. I told her my goal was a personal worst and I looked to be on track. The rain became harder. I was getting tired. But I kept going. I’ll tell you it was not easy to clinch that slowest time. Even with all those stops and the bourbon I barely beat my next slowest time. I really had fun though. What a great course Good support throughout. I celebrated with lunch at the Hard Rock and a visit to the Jim Beam Urban Stillhouse for some more tastings on 4th Street Live.

The following day I took a drove to pick up my daughter. Her face was glowing. She had had a really wonderful time. She had so much to tell me. Her favorite thing about her dad? His wife! Given how happy she made my kid she gets super high marks in my book too.

Part Three: Virginia, again

A girl, a dog, and a cabin in the woods. This is R&R. This is America.

This time we landed around 4 pm. The jet lag had nearly worn off anyway. We drove out to Winchester, Virginia to stay with my aunt. We spent two nights at her home there and one at her cabin at Stone Mountain, West Virginia. I had visited the cabin with her before. Heck, my sister got married there. C had even been there before for a July 4th celebration. But something about this time felt like it was where I was meant to be on R&R. That perhaps this is where, if I were really after rest and recuperation, I should have spent the whole vacation. There is no television. Internet service is extremely weak, mostly non-existent. The cabin is a studio with a loft. When it rains the pitter-patter on the corrugated roof is about the only sound you hear. The activities? Setting and up swinging in the hammock. Sitting on the porch and looking out at the field. A walk down to the river. Maybe a conversation with a neighbor that stops by to tell you of a rare orchid he finds in the woods. Then a search through the woods for said orchid. A hike up Stone Mountain. More conversation.

We departed my aunt’s on Thursday late morning. There was another day and a half left. We spent some more time at Target, of course, another meal with a friend, a pizza and movie night at my sister’s house. Then it was time to return to Shanghai.

I made it to the top of Stone Mountain and the view is so worth it.

May 4, 2016 by trs

The Paparazzi – With my Blond Daughter in Shanghai

I expected it would happen–that my daughter might draw attention when we went out in Shanghai. It happened a little when we were in Ciudad Juarez. But then, for obvious reasons, like narco-trafficking gangs and a dearth of sightseeing spots, we did not go out all that much in Juarez. And given Juarez’s border location, many residents spend quite a bit of time in the U.S., so a blonde-haired child is really not that out of the ordinary. Plenty of Juarenses are blonde themselves.

In the China of 1994 I was the subject of some curiosity on the train from Beijing to Chengdu; a wedding party in Qingdao-which one of these people does not belong?

China is different though. I knew that. When I was in Beijing as a student in 1994 I had my fair share of “oh my gosh it’s a foreigner!” experiences. I was aggressively stared at, grabbed, photographed, and petted. A woman once, in a terrifying display of jungle cat reflexes, vaulted over her store counter to grab hold of my hair. When I stopped to admire some footwear at an underground shoe store, I was soon surrounded by a group of curious onlookers. In one holiday weekend in Qingdao, my friends and I were asked to stand alongside no less than 20 bridal parties for photos.

Twenty two years later China is not the same place. In 1994 there were around 26,000 foreigners studying across China (1,257 of them were from the US according to the Institute of International Education), while today there are over 300,000. Currently, there are some 170,000 non-Chinese (i.e. not from Macao, Hong Kong, or Taiwan) residing in Shanghai alone. No doubt that is a drop in the bucket of the over 14 million Chinese residents, but it is far more than the approximate 6,000 registered foreigners in the city in 1994. And the Chinese in the big cities like Shanghai are sophisticated, educated, international-minded people. They travel overseas. They study overseas. They work in multi-national companies. They speak foreign languages. These days no one in the big cities is interested in having their picture taken with me. I do not cause a stir going about my daily business. Thank goodness.

However, that does not appear to apply to children.

On the right is what happened when I stopped to consult my map while we visited Pudong during Chinese New Year week in February 2015. What was particularly interesting to me was not only the crowd wanting photos of my daughter, but they wanted photos with my daughter. Even the grown man on the bottom right in the brown leather jacket. On the left we stop along the walkway around West Lake in Hangzhou in April 2015. Some girls had stopped to ask if they could take a photo of C and I said they could – the rest of the crowd took advantage.

From our first day out, my blonde, curly haired, fair skinned child has been the subject of interest. A LOT of interest. The kind of in-your-face, pushy, camera-wielding-hordes-type interest, akin to celebrity paparazzi. Some people are respectful and will approach me and tell me in Chinese, broken English, or excellent English that my daughter is very cute and ask if they can take her picture. Some try to take the pictures on the sly, which is easy enough to do with camera phones, but they are giggling so much and/or talking loudly in Chinese about my daughter and their secret photo taking, not realizing I can understand. Others are bold in their complete disregard of how either I or my daughter might feel about their photo taking. They may touch my daughter’s hair, her arms, her cheeks.

I get it. Soon after arriving in Juarez I took my then 8 month old child on a tour that included a market in the historic downtown. Our guide warned me that people may stop to admire my child and in so doing would be compelled to touch her – not doing so would bring about the “Mal de Ojo” or Evil Eye and unfortunate consequences for the child. I do not know of a similar superstition in China, but that does not mean there is not one. Or that such touching is not simply a function of a different sense of personal space or of cultural mores not extending to foreigners (because physical contact and affection between even people you know, much less strangers, is not a Chinese tradition)? Or maybe cute children are simply irresistible? I too am guilty of taking pictures of beautiful children on my travels.

This seems completely normal, right? Just a day out in the city and people whip out their cell phone cameras or their telephoto lenses to capture your child sitting in her stroller sucking her fingers or sporting a new hat you just bought her from the street-side hat seller just to my left out of the frame.

I will admit it; I also find it flattering that people admire my child. I am her mom and I naturally think she is quite special. But there are times when the attention is terribly intrusive. For instance, when we took the train back to Shanghai from Hangzhou. Thirty minutes into the journey a man boarded the train and sat in the seats in front of us. He showed great interest in my daughter and he turned around and snapped a picture of her. I happened to notice him scrolling through the photos on his phone and saw he had not one, but two photos of my daughter. In one of those photos my daughter is wearing a different outfit – it was from another day! That bordered on disturbing.

My daughter has come to really dislike the attention. In the beginning when people approached me to ask to photograph her I generally agreed. However I noticed that C became irritated rather quickly by the attention. (It was very hard not to notice) She would hide her face, slump down in her stroller, turn around her face could not be seen, or make faces at the camera. But the requests kept coming every time we were out and about, and I began to feel less and less good about allowing these strangers to take a photograph despite C’s obvious discomfort. So then I began to tell people if they would like a photo they have to ask my daughter and they may do so in English or Chinese. With the ball in her court, my daughter usually consents to a few photos and then retreats. Her stroller now has a canopy that she pulls down as low as it will go and those who attempt to pull it back often receive an unwelcome surprise – my daughter hisses at them like an angry cat!

My daughter actually agreed to these photos!

All of this attention raises two big questions in my mind. The first is how will this affect my child as she grows? Will this make her self-centered? Will she become less and less inclined to go out? Will she become withdrawn? I do not have the answer but I do not want us to stay inside our apartment complex all the time when there are so many things to see and do in Shanghai. I do not want my child to feel fear or frustration from the attention but rather learn to handle it and positively express herself (we have to get beyond the cat growling and hissing).

The second is what in the world are all those people doing with photos of my child?

March 23, 2016 by trs

Americana: A Californian Chinese New Year

I have heard the time around the Spring Festival, as the Chinese call it, referred to as the largest annual human migration in the world. It is not only all the Chinese traveling to be with their families, but also the foreigners in China taking advantage of the long holiday to get away.

When we first arrived in China it was just three weeks before Chinese New Year. I knew having just moved to China that 1. I would not have the energy to take a trip that soon, and 2. Even if I had wanted to, it was far too late to book a trip.

It was good to stay in Shanghai that first Chinese New Year. My household effects (HHE) were delivered just the day before the holiday started so I could spend it putting my apartment in order. The streets were quiet and I had a week to get to know my new city. But I told myself there was no way I would stay in Shanghai the following Lunar New Year.

The way the holiday shook out is February 6-10 (Saturday – Wednesday) were the Chinese national days off. The following Monday, February 15 was President’s Day. So I could take just two days of annual leave and have ten full days off. I thought of going to Kenya or Jordan or Thailand. Somewhere exotic. That is what I used to do when I had a long holiday – take a long trip to someplace unexpected. But what I really wanted to do was be in the US drinking in America.

A Huntington Half Marathon

C gets in some pony riding in her Elsa dress and pink cowgirl boots. Because that is how she rolls.

We started our holiday in the Newport / Huntington Beach area, about an hour south of Los Angeles. Back in August I had signed up for the Surf City Half Marathon. The heart issues had started but I positive that I could still train for and complete the half. It was before the Medevac to Singapore and then Washington, DC. It was before I had the heart procedure. By November 11 I was back in Shanghai and determined to train. My plan was a 5K before the end of November, then a 10K before the end of December and finally 15K by the end of January and then just try my luck.

I did the 10K by the end of December but it was really, really, really slow. I had some serious doubts. But my virtual group of runners trying to hit the roads and trails all around the world encouraged me to still try – that the time would not matter. And a very good friend currently posted to Washington, DC said she would fly out to run with me.

Before the half C and I just sampled the joys of being back in the US. Our first day in the States involved landing, renting a car, and then driving down the coast in Friday afternoon Orange County traffic. So it was pretty great.

For our first full day I took my pony-loving daughter to Irvine Regional Park for pony rides and a visit to the zoo. We had hot dogs and French Fries and sat outside in the glorious Southern California sunshine. Such a change from the cold, overcast, smoggy skies of a Shanghai winter.

I got me some race bling. And some running zen.

The morning of the half the sitter arrived from Mollycoddlers, an Orange County sitter and nanny service. (I am sure lots of people have wondered how I do these half marathons in different parts of the country as a single mom. The answer is a hotel babysitting service!). I met my friend in the lobby of our Huntington Beach hotel for the race shuttle to Newport Beach. We had a lot of time on the shuttle and at least an hour at the race hotel before the start to catch up. It was important because although we have run several races together, we do not actually run side by side as her pace is a good two minutes per mile faster than mine.

I had no idea how the half would go. My training had been haphazard. I was jet lagged.

The temperatures were unseasonably warm. Yet it was a good course. Flat. I did not care about my time. I ran a half for the first time in a long time without a running watch (it had been in the unfortunately misappropriated bag lost to the taxi driver in December). I walked through each water stop. I had fun. I told myself I could finish in three hours if I needed to. But I didn’t. It wasn’t even my slowest half.

I realize that many people might be shaking their heads – why in the world would anyone run a half marathon on their vacation? For me though, when I run, when I was running, I was not a mom, I was not a visa adjudicator, it was just me running in the sunshine on a course with a bunch of other strangers – all of who have their own reasons and goals for running. It’s liberating.

Afterwards, it being Superbowl Sunday, C, my friend, her boyfriend, and I sat in the hotel bar, watched part of the game and the half time show, and ate and drank. If that isn’t Americana, then I don’t know what is.

Friends, Family, and Disney

When I was 11 years old my mom took my sisters and I to LA. I begged to go to the La Brea Tar Pits, but we didn’t. I had to close the circle.

After Newport Beach we headed south to Carlsbad to stay with my mother’s cousin who I had not seen since I was twelve years old. Now I am….much older. Yet despite the years, when I reached out to her she responded immediately to my email and invited C and I to stay with her. We had such a wonderful time and her husband and their therapy dog. We also drove down to San Diego to meet up with a friend from my Jakarta book club days and on another day we met a grad school friend at the La Brea Tar Pits.

Back in my pre-State, pre-mom days my vacation modus operandi was generally to fly solo to another country or another continent but rarely to visit home. Maybe it is age or being a mother or this particular career, but I have a strong desire to spend more time reacquainting myself not only with friends and family but also with my country.

I felt such incredible joy driving a car down US highways, listening to Top 40 radio stations, or lying awake jet lagged watching American television programming featuring tiny houses. Even billboards featuring Serta mattresses make me deliriously happy. There were several times when apropos of nothing I simply stretched out my arms and yelled “I love you America!”

But I am familiar with America. For me a trip home is celebration of the things I love and miss (or even had no idea I missed) and want to revisit and carry back in me. For my daughter though, it is not a place she knows well. In her four years of life she has lived only a quarter of it in the States.

A few weeks before traveling to the US I read an online parenting article aimed at American parents and their propensity to take their kids to Disney on vacation. The author’s goal is to encourage parents to broaden their children’s horizons, which is certainly admirable. But there is nothing wrong with taking your kids to Disney. Disney is the quintessential Americana. And I very much want to give my child those kinds of experiences. She may not always or even ever just be able to get on a bicycle and ride around a neighborhood. So if I can give her Disney and quality zoos and snow cones and ballpark hot dogs on occasion, I will.

This happy face needs no caption.

After nine days in beautiful Southern California it was time to head back to Shanghai. I am not sure that I did this, but I hope I took a sufficiently long deep breath of the good air quality air and closed my eyes and savored the warm feel of the SoCal sun on my face.

March 5, 2016 by trs

From Sheep to Monkey: Shanghai Year One in Review

Soon after we arrived in Shanghai we welcomed in the Year of the Sheep/Goat/Ram.

I have marked one year in Shanghai. I had a hard time sussing out when I felt I had truly hit the one year mark. Sure, there is the one year anniversary of when we arrived here on January 28, 2015. That is a good place to start. Or maybe my first day in the office, February 2? Or the first time I picked up a case in Shanghai – on February 5? Or the first time I interviewed on the line, which due to a fluke of training and the arrival of Chinese New Year was not until February 26?

Now I can safely call the one year mark, but I have been struggling to find the right words to characterize my year. The easiest way it seems is to boil it down to the visas since they occupy such a huge part of my existence.

In one year I fingerprinted 5,760 people and adjudicated 24,075 visa cases. It’s mind-boggling. I do not know how many people I fingerprint verified in Ciudad Juarez (verification just requires one hand print to verify prints collected at an off-site location; fingerprinting requires taking ten prints, i.e. the four fingers on both hands and then both thumbs), but in my two years I adjudicated a total of 15,112 visas. And I managed over 24,000 in Shanghai in a year even with a month-long Medevac.

I wanted to hit 25,000. I had seen another colleague reached 50,000 after two years in Shanghai and I decided, before even arriving, that I too wanted that number. Just because. I know it is a crazy, maybe even a completely pointless and meaningless goal, but we set some goal like this here to help us get through the hours, days, and weeks of interviewing.

“Left hand four fingers. Right hand. Two thumbs. OK. Next!” I dare you to say that, and only that, over 100 times in an hour. I triple dog dare you to do it in Chinese.

Still to put my number into perspective a colleague of mine hit over 27,500 in a year of adjudication and another colleague 31,000 in a year. So as amazing as my number might sound, though it is a lot, I am by no means one of the fastest. And the fingerprinting number…it is a pittance! We had a temporary duty (TDY) colleague here for three weeks over the winter to help us during the busier season and in that time she alone fingerprinted 6,001 people!

One day after fingerprinting over 430 people over the course of 3 3/4 hours I came to a number of conclusions. One is that a surprising number of people appear to be missing digits or parts of digits. And it makes me wonder how it is that person came to lose them. Or when the prints seem to be particularly bad, how it is those prints came to be worn? So many stories exist just in people’s hands. Another is that you can never judge a person’s fingerprints by their appearance. Some young people have terrible prints, some old people have wonderful prints. And finally, really clear, excellent prints are a beautiful thing to behold. I never thought the image of the lovely whirls of a truly great print would be the thing to blow my hair back, but life is a funny, funny thing.

Hundreds of average Chinese line up outside for a chance at a US visa

It can be hard to see the amazing activities colleagues around the world are doing while you are busy doing hundreds and then thousands and then tens of thousands of visas. In the past few months colleagues have posted about meeting Colin Firth and Meryl Streep, having a conversation with a Thai princess, meeting Nobel Prize winner Aung San Suu Kyi, or flying on the Air Force jet with Secretary John Kerry. Meanwhile today I interviewed over a hundred completely ordinary Chinese people. And it was a slow day.

We marked the beginning of our second year with the arrival of the Year of the Monkey. According to some birth tourists, the Chinese love monkeys, so much so that the hospitals in China will have a bumper crops of babies and just be too busy. I’ll just leave it at that.

But everyday people can be pretty cool too. I will admit that I do suffer from interviewing fatigue. Everyone does. It is not easy to do this day in and day out for two years or four. But there are days when it is, dare I admit it, fun. Each morning or afternoon, depending on the shift, I sit or stand, depending on the adjudication window, and take a deep breath before I pull up the blinds and face the first of so many applicants. There are times there is a sense of, not dread, but well an acute sense of opportunity cost – that by being there doing the interviews there are so many other great things I am not doing. But other times there is a quick sense of anticipation, and even excitement. I cannot speak for everyone of course, but there are many things to like about interviewing. And even in the short time I have to talk to each applicant you can see a glimpse of a story. The retired sisters giddy with excitement to take an 18 day group tour to America. The students nervous and hopeful for a chance to study in America. The completely unqualified applicant stammering out answers, knowing it is a long-shot, but still dreaming you might give them a visa anyway.

However, just because I think it is fun and interesting work sometimes does not mean I do not struggle with it. I do. A lot. And it has been harder these past few weeks to write and post this because although I have crossed the one year threshold I cannot say that I have only one year to go because I extended until April 2017, which moved me from a winter bidding cycle to the summer. Because I have no idea how the bidding for the next tour will go – bidding that will not begin until late this summer – it is possible that I leave earlier than April 2017 and it is possible I leave later. Yet right now I just do not know how much longer I have, when I will even reach the one year to go mark. So right now I feel I am in a sort of limbo.

A symbol of stagnation. Over 13 months after my arrival and it is still @#$&ing there.

And in this limbo I find it harder to do the visas. Harder to face the rising numbers of applicants that characterizes our summer season. Harder to shrug off the cars and buses and motorbikes that run red lights. Harder to deal with the pushing and the shoving that comes with being in any public place in the largest city in the world’s most populous country. If you look back at my one my early posts from Shanghai, there was a bulldozer parked unattended, unused in the middle of a sidewalk on my way to work. It sat on the footpath blocking any pedestrian use, just after a particularly greasy, grimy stretch of sidewalk. It is still there. And I did not think it would be possible, but that sidewalk is even more caked, mucky, and encrusted with slime than before.

Yet there has been so much more over this past year than the work. In Shanghai we have been to so many museums and sightseeing spots from the Oriental Pearl Tower, the Propaganda Poster Museum, and the Science and Technology Museum, to Dishui Lake, the Shanghai Zoo, and the Jing’An Sculpture Park. Within China we have traveled to Hangzhou, Nanjing, Sanya, and Hong Kong. We have also been back to the US three times, including my unexpected Medevac, which certainly livened up the year, and to Singapore (another Medevac) and the Dominican Republic.

Shanghai has been an extraordinary place to live. My daughter and I not only have a nice life here, but we have fun here. C has especially thrived here. It is amazing to watch my three-now-four-year old speaking Chinese. To hear that she refers to China as where we live and America as where we are from. To have her making friends with children with diverse backgrounds who all find themselves here. She loves Shanghai, so I love Shanghai.

I am not sure how to end this but I suppose it isn’t necessary because I am not done with Shanghai. I have a year and then some left. More visas and more fun still to come.

And no matter the day, whether it is a love visa or hate visa day, I never grow tired of the view from my apartment

February 2, 2016 by trs

Can I Buy an Iron Lung on Taobao?

This one is very snazzy. I think that blue really brightens up the whole room.

Taobao is China’s version of Amazon. It is China’s “largest online shopping platform.” It is the place where you can order just about anything under the sun, except apparently not an Iron Lung. It turns out Iron Lungs are really, really large contraptions, about the size of a tanning bed. However, if you want to buy bottled oxygen you can. They come in all different kinds of bottles, in a range of colors even. There are the kinds for home use and the ones for taking on the go. There are also ones especially marketed to pregnant women or students or travelers. You can get your oxygen bottles in 2, 4, 10, and 15 liters for home use.

On Taobao you can also purchase any number of anti-pollution masks. In fact a China Daily article from December 2015 noted a steady rise in the mask orders from the online market. Some are very stylish. Some are cute. Some are, well, interesting. If you have been hankering for a face mask that looks like you have a teddy bear on the lower half of your face then you can make that happen. Probably the most popular are the basic white 3M disposable masks. Although unfortunately that mask you buy might not be real. It might cover your face but not protect you from the pollution. In December 2015 Chinese customs authorities seized 120,000 counterfeit masks in two separate raids. Counterfeit face masks, who would have thought? Well, it is China.

C and I get wacky in our Vogmasks.

The other day I saw a woman walking toward me in the street and I noticed her striking face mask. It was black with silver adornments. Although what popped into my mind was “Hannibal Lecter,” which admittedly sounds gauche rather than graceful, I did find myself thinking I would like to have a mask like that. Is this what it has come to? My coveting anti-pollution masks as an accessory? As far as I know Louis Vuitton and Juicy Couture are not yet into designing face masks, but is it only a matter of time? Should I get in on this before it is too late?

Honestly, as stylish and fashionable as my mask is I am not that into wearing it. I wear glasses and whenever I put on the mask, which tends to be in winter when the air quality levels are on average worse, they fog up. In general if the air quality levels are high, over 150, I try to limit my time outdoors and my nanny keeps my daughter inside. On weekdays that is pretty easy. I live only a ten minute walk from work and there is an indoor play area for kids within the building. On weekends it can be a downer if I have plans to get out for a walk or head to a museum. Poor air quality can be the deciding factor in our extracurricular activities.

If we do have to stay indoors though the Consulate provides us with BlueAir purifiers; they are reportedly some of the best on the market. We receive one for each room. At least every six months the management section delivers us new filters and we change them. It is super easy to change them but it is astonishing how dirty the filters are after six months in a small apartment even with four purifiers running.

Few things say “have a great holiday” than buying yourself or your loved ones an anti-pollution mask.

When people hear about air pollution that hangs in a pall over a city they do think of China, but usually it is Beijing that is in the news. And frankly, I guess with all things being relative, Shanghai is really not all that bad. It is not Beijing. It is not Shenyang. It is not Chengdu. In fact in a 2014 study examining the PM 2.5 levels across China that ranked 74 Chinese cities by their air quality, Shanghai came in at 48th place. And if you look across the world Shanghai is not Delhi or Peshawar or Ulaanbaatar. I am not sure this makes the level more tolerable or okay, but I do realize that things could be worse. (Though they could most certainly also be better – on the most recent day I checked the PM2.5 it was 153 or “unhealthy” in Shanghai, and 46 in Washington, DC, and in Los Angeles, a city known for its smog, the level was 9, yes NINE, with a daily average of 41.)

I do not know where Shanghai’s average PM2.5 level falls. I have a colleague though who could probably tell you as he has created a spreadsheet or a computer program that figures out the average and he can tell you the range for each city where we have a diplomatic mission in China. This is the kind of thing I guess some people do for fun in China. To think that before I arrived in Shanghai I never once thought about checking the Air Quality Monitor (AQI). Now it is something I check fairly regularly. It is part of my vocabulary.

I do not check the monitor so much now as I used to when I first arrived though. One hardly needs to check when just a glance out the window will give you the kind of “mask” or “no mask” indication you are looking for. If you want the exact numbers so you can complain smartly at work, then yes, you will need to check it. But if I haven’t checked it, then I am sure someone at work has.

My apartment view on a good, bad, and ugly air quality day

All kidding aside, the pollution levels may have some long term affects on myself and my child and I do not yet know what they might be. In the short term however I do notice that I need to use my asthma inhaler more in China, and particularly more in the winter. And in October I was Medevac’d to the US for a procedure for a heart condition I developed in China. I have no idea if the air quality had anything to do with it but I did not have a heart condition before I came to Shanghai.

I sometimes daydream about being somewhere I do not have to think about AQI. There are so many places on my projected bid list for my next tour that might not fit that bill. I wonder if I will eliminate them as a result? There are days when I suppose the only reasonable next place should be an island country with few high rises, few polluting industries, few skyscrapers. A place I might reset the damage done this tour. When on vacation outside of China, away from the AQI monitor I do feel liberated, and I realize how much it does affect my life in Shanghai. When in Shanghai, I get used to it.

Is this the next step? Do my cats need their own kitty masks? And yes, this is my actual cat. And yes she kept this mask on and let me take pictures.

January 31, 2016 by trs

Hong Kong Birthday

At the Lantau Island Buddha in the summer of 1996. I look pretty stunned, which could explain why I have no recollection of this at all.

Hong Kong. To me, it is one of those places the very name evokes a sense of adventure and excitement. I first visited in the summer of 1996, a vacation from my English teaching job at an after school cram school in Seoul, South Korea. It was part of a wildly concocted two week trip that would include Hong Kong, Macao, Guam, an unexpected stopover in Saipan due to a typhoon in my flight path, and Guangzhou. The most thrilling part I recall was running full speed down a pier in Hong Kong and jumping aboard the boat that would take me overnight to Guangzhou, the gangplank pulled in behind me. The second time was in the spring of 1999; I was an English teacher in the government-sponsored JET Program in Yamaguchi, Japan and spent a few days exploring Hong Kong while securing my visa to re-visit Beijing. I must have gone up Victoria Peak in the tram that second time. Yet all I have are a few vague memories of cold, bureaucratic, but quick formalities at the Chinese Consulate.

How had it been so very long ago since I had visited? I wanted to visit Hong Kong once again. After some research online – determining that January was one of the best months in the territory – I decided my daughter’s birthday over the Martin Luther King, Jr. weekend was the time to go.

Back in August, when I bought the tickets, it seemed quite reasonable and exciting to have trips planned for September/October (Dominican Republic), November (Chengdu), December (Sanya), and January (Hong Kong). By the time the Hong Kong trip was rolling around though I had instead come to the conclusion that I must have made these plans in a fit of insanity, possibly a function of having nearly survived a summer without leave through the biggest visa demand period in history. Maybe. Or maybe I just do crazy stuff like this all the time? (My past travel record would, I expect, point to the latter)

The Dominican Republic trip happened of course and it was wonderful. But Chengdu was cancelled because of my unanticipated month-long Medevac back to Washington, D.C. And Sanya, yeah, that one was far less restful than expected. (See Shanghai Escape, Derailed)

A colder and wetter view than I had expected. Star Ferry ride over to Hong Kong Island.

Given the Sanya episode I approached the Hong Kong trip as a nervous travel maniac. I double-checked, triple-checked, quadruple-checked the departure time of the flight daily on a travel website to make sure the flight time did not change. The last thing I wanted to do was miss a flight…again. I decided not to check a single piece of luggage. I hesitated to bring the newly purchases Kindle Fire Kids Edition (the replacement for the lost/stolen iPad), but in the end placed it and several other belongings into a new tote that would, I hoped, never leave my eyesight.

My soon-to-be four year old daughter too seemed traumatized by the Sanya episode. When a week before our trip she accidentally punctured a colorful sport ball we had had since Juarez and I informed her that we would need to throw it away, she broke down in sobs. “No,” she blubbered, “I don’t want to lose any more toys.” She insisted that the deflated ball was now her second most favorite toy in the world, after her beloved stuffed animal Black Cat, and that Pink Ball should also come with us to Hong Kong. I said no but then relented, imagining the hilarious pictures of Pink Ball in various Hong Kong locations. Unfortunately the day before departure I could not locate Pink Ball. <sigh>

The day before departure I wondered if maybe we needed to be at the airport earlier than expected? Sure enough I checked with a colleague who had just been and yes, we would be traveling through the international terminal and passport control on both ends. I thanked my lucky stars I knew that before rather than after the flight. Visions of Sanya, and the missed flight that started it all, swam through my brain.

Still the flight left late. I thought back to when I lived in China in 1994 and how foreigners fondly changed the acronym for the Civil Aviation Administration of China (CAAC) to “China Airlines Always Cancel.” I have heard that every single commercial flight in China must be cleared before take-off through an office in Beijing. I do not know if it is true, but I have yet to be on a flight that departed on time. Only flights we were not on (i.e. to Sanya).

Maybe it is Nathan Road or my own limited outings in Shanghai, but Hong Kong sort of felt more Chinese to me than China. Except with Facebook.

January is supposed to be one of the best months to visit Hong Kong. I read online, it has the lowest amount of rainfall and the most comfortable temperature. So imagine my dismay as I checked, and re-checked the weather report for our trip dates, and it was not only colder than expected but predicted to rain four out of the five days. Over 80% chance of rain each day, including our days at Disneyland and on C’s birthday.

Despite the late flight, the rain, the colder-than-expected temps, I felt pretty pumped when we landed and as we rode into town on an airport bus to central Kowloon. A very kind Indian woman, resident in Hong Kong for fifteen years, not only engaged my daughter in conversation on the bus, sharing photos of her own recent trip to Hong Kong Disneyland and explaining she was pretty good friends with the Princesses, but also helped us to get down from the crowded bus when we reached our stop. The ten minute walk down three long city blocks through the cold misty rain did not damper my spirits.

We arrived at our hotel, down a side street in Mongkok, somewhere near where I must have stayed in a cheap cramped guesthouse with friends in 1996, and in our room I posted direct to Facebook. Freedom. Hong Kong may have been returned to China, but with an international flight and immigration checks to get here and a very different Internet environment, it certainly did not feel like China.

On our first full day out in Hong Kong disaster struck. C lost Black Cat, her much-adored stuffie who had been with us for over two years. For a little stuffie Black Cat sure got around. He or she, C referred to it as both, went with us everywhere from the grocery store to museums to across the globe. Black Cat had been to seven countries and territories and approximately sixteen US states. I thought Black Cat would be the stuffie that C would hold onto forever, into adulthood. But Black Cat must have used up his nine lives. He had been dropped, run over by the stroller, left behind and retrieved, so many times that our second chances had finally run out.

The last known whereabouts of Black Cat

I took a picture of C sitting on a bollard near the Star Ferry terminal. She has Black Cat. Then she hops over to the stroller and informs me we need to make a pit stop before we head to the ferry. I spy a public bathroom just 50 feet away and off we go. By the time we make it to the stall she no longer has Black Cat. We run outside but in that space of time and physical space we have lost the stuffie; he/she is nowhere to be seen. C is inconsolable. She bawls loudly as I push her through the ferry terminal and onto the vessel. Huge tears roll down her face as she sits on the ferry. She sobs out loud “Black Cat, don’t leave me. Please come back. I miss you so much!” I tell her I am so sorry and ask if there is anything I can do. “Yes,” she tells me, “find my Black Cat.” There is nothing I can do. I tell her this. There is no reason to sugar coat it although I feel like the worst mom in the world.

On the other side, on Hong Kong Island, we meet up with my friend L who back in 2001 took a summer intensive Chinese class with me in Monterey, CA. We were roommates that summer and we both graduated from the Monterey Institute of International Studies. She has been living in Asia, in Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Singapore for most of the intervening years. This is not how I wanted her and her children to meet my normally high-spirited, effervescent daughter, now in the throes of her greatest loss. But it is what it is. And surprisingly, C, after pouting for a good 30 minutes, warms up to them all and is in good spirits at lunch.

I should have known something was up. By the time we return to the hotel by 4 PM she is calm and rested, having napped in the stroller the whole walk back from Tsim Sha Tsui. However, when she wakes she informs me that she will simply ask Santa to bring her Old Black Cat next Christmas. I am amazed at her creativity and feel like the Grinch when I tell her this is beyond Santa’s powers.

The next day we wake. It is Sunday and C’s 4th birthday. I again feel pretty bad about letting Black Cat get away. However, when I ask C about it she informs me, “Black Cat likes Hong Kong and has decided to move here to be with his Grandma and Grandpa.” I am stunned. Four years old and already so grown up. Plus Black Cat is one very wise stuffie; I too want to move to Hong Kong.

Hello wonderful Disney Hollywood Hotel.

We meet my friends D&B, who had come down from Guangzhou to visit Disneyland with us, down in the lobby. It is raining cats and dogs, heavy sheets of rain are shot down from the cold, steel grey sky. It looks like an unfortunate day to visit an amusement park. We cannot get a taxi. It is also the day of the Hong Kong Standard Chartered Marathon and no taxis are able to get to our particular road. We wait. The rain lets up and we all decide to try to walk over to the MTR stop some fifteen minutes away to try to take the train to Disneyland (there is a stop at the park). We are lucky to find a nice taxi driver willing to give it a go.

When we pull up to our hotel, the Disneyland Hollywood Hotel, the whole place smells like fresh flowers after the rain; it is a lush desert oasis after a terrible sandstorm. There on the red carpet leading to the hotel I cancel my hotel the following night near the airport and book a second night at the Disney hotel. The magic of Disney was already working on me.

We store our bags and head straight to the park. The sun, believe it or not, comes out. I know I cannot believe it but I am thrilled. I may have even danced a jig. I may have thrown my arms out and thanked the Gods, Mother Nature, or Kismet for this blessed event. I had wanted this day to be perfect for C and though determined to make it so despite the rain, I was glad I did not have to contend with a soggy day.

Of course we met with several princesses! Ariel wins for most awesome because she spent a lot of time with the birthday girl, even playing a little game of tag with her.

We rode the carousel, two times; it remains C’s favorite ride. We all took a spin on the tea cups, which by the way are not built for three adults and one child. Nor for someone my age who sometimes feels sick in the backseats of cars after spending so little time in them while living much of my adult life overseas. A trip on the Jungle River Cruise revealed that natives shooting arrows from an unfriendly village and a mountain that breathes fire are not four year old fare. I read the warning after the ride. Oops. Yet we even rode Space Mountain, C’s first roller coaster. I could scarcely believe that she met the height requirement, but she did. Just. Once the ride started I felt kind of bad to have brought her on, remembering my own fear riding this same attraction when I visited Disneyland California at age eleven. It was sort of hard to hear C crying over my own screams. Yet she surprised me once again when she declared at the end (after heaving a huge sigh of relief that we had survived), “I had to cry a little bit, but it was okay.”

We took a break, returned to the hotel, checked in and enjoyed a walk around the grounds and a rest before returning in the evening for the parade and fireworks show. I had expected just a good parade and then some good fireworks. Both were beyond anything I could have imagined. I sort of felt that other people who had been to Disney had been sworn to some secret oath not to reveal the true amazingness of the spectacle.

We said goodbye to D&B the following morning after breakfast and C and I returned to the park for another day of fun. The weather was even better than the day before. As a result, despite it being a Monday, the crowds were larger and the wait times for rides longer. More carousel time, a whirl on the Disneyland railroad, a visit with Anna and Elsa and Cinderella and we managed the Winnie the Pooh and Dumbo rides despite the longer lines. We called it an earlier day so I was very glad to be able to relax in our lovely Disney hotel room and catch the movie Up with C in the lobby bar and restaurant.

The next morning as we departed for the airport right after the 11 am check-out it had grown cold again, the fog so thick that visibility was very limited. Had we tried to head to the Lantau Buddha, my original plan until I realized that getting there would take more time than we had, we would not have seen much. Our flight was not until 4 pm but the man at the check-in counter moved us to a flight leaving an hour earlier. Of course though, this being a Chinese flight, it left an hour late…

All in all, even with the loss of Black Cat, Hong Kong turned out to be a wonderful getaway.

The view from our Disney hotel room on a beautiful, clear Hong Kong morning

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